merah, kuning, biru

"Warna merah, kuning, biru.. itu kesukaan Farhan.. Warna merah, kuning, biru.. itu kesukaan Farhan... " I kept listening to my maid singing that over and over again to my nephew, Farhan while they were in my room looking outside the window at those lampu kelip - kelip we have on during the festive season..

All I did was just lay on the opposite side of the bed with my eyes closed wishing I could close my ears as well.. Wanting so much to just sleep.. "Warna merah, kuning, biru.. itu kesukaan Farhan.. " there she goes again..

I had a 6 hour class today.. although I did not have it exactly 6 hours, I still feel tired.. The fact that I saw the results of my students kinda demotivated me..ok i should really stop there.

The holy month of Ramadhan is an eye opener for me.. I kinda had a flash back of what happened to me through out the year.. See, for lecturers like me, we go by semester. So I will remember things that happened to me by semesters. I went through 1 long semester and 1 short semester and currently, I am at the 2nd long semester.. Hoping that this semester will be over soon.. I look forward for the next 2 semesters.. for some personal reasons..

At this moment, I feel that time is ticking very fast but very slow at the same time. At the office, sometimes I have chest pain when I get excited to I move about a lot. Something I should really check actually.. So the other day, I think I havent blogged about this yet. The other day, I was moving about alot since my class at BT5 had some air cond problems.. So I had to run around to find another class for the 830 class so that my students can study in a conducive class.. luckily the next class was empty so we shifted there. after that, I have the 1030 class also at BT5... so I was running around the block to find an empty class.. But I couldn't. I had to use the computer lab for the ISM Maths Stats students.. and as I was explaining about Relative Efficiency of Estimators, I didnt realize that I was actually pacing around the whole lab.. and talking so fast.. And then I saw their faces.. Their blank faces.. and then I said, "Too fast? So ok.. I was moving about a lot tadi.. So I couldnt stop right away.. Inertia.. " and then.. the whole class laughed.. like never before.. hehehe it felt nice.. and kinda loosened me up a little..

Being a lecturer in an IPTS sometimes feel like being a bad comedian. When you walk around of hang out with your friends who aren't lecturers or not in the academic field, they might think that becoming a lecturer is easy.. relaxed... flexible.. (which is true at times)..

But imagine this, you have 40 sometimes 69 pair of eyes looking at you.. To make them listen to you is one big challenge, to make them listen and compute and comprehend is another thing all together.. That is only the first part.. Comes the 2nd part.. when you have different level of understanding.. so which pace do you go ? teach slowly ? the fast ones gets bored.. teach to fast, the less fast ones gives up.. wanna try to crack some jokes ? haaa... cuba laah.. try to make 70 people laugh at the same time.. hehehe THAT will really put u to the test :p

So that's why I kinda enjoy being in this Academic Quality Assurance committee.. I get to learn a lot from other experienced lecturers on how to become a good or at least a better lecturer and give quality education for our younger generations.

When I first took this job, i didnt realize how big the responsibility is to become a teacher.. You are giving knowledge to people.. and if you give the wrong knowledge, its a big sin.. "siapa yang ajar ko buat mcm ni ??? " .... "ms. dora"... hmmm and the best part is.. sometimes bila bende salah yang dibuat, ditujukan jari pada kita...

but all in all.. somehow, in a way.. i still enjoy being in this field.. it's challenging and rewarding at the same time..