press fast forward

ask me then : office politics ? apa tu ?
ask me now : hmm.. biasa lah.. office politics

Work used to be so much fun. Going to work. Teaching. Looking at the students' confused faces and trying to comprehend what they don't comprehend. Playing mind games and teaching them statistics and life. Plus, jadi orang suruhan (a.k.a kuli buat kerja kerja small timer) dah biasa). Tapi bila ada orang menambah perencah to spice up the workplace, tu yang jadi takbest.

For the first time in my 2 and a half years of my working life, I don't enjoy going to work.

I don't.

I want to press FAST FORWARD to 31st January 2010. Only during 8am - 6pm weekdays.

I believe that Allah loves me and the people that is being tested by Him.

Read more...

that is not a predicament

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
not in the mood to socialize. right now, nope.

sorry.

Read more...

effing net

when ur life revolves around the internet,
when ur other half is on the other side of the world,
when the connection is effed up,
you're kinda effed up as well.

nicht sehr gut. nicht sehr gut. Scheiße!

oh no.. too much weeds..

Read more...

my friday night : my friday morning story

Being at home and not being able to do anything except for walking a little and disturbing my other friends at work by SMSing them using my 800 free SMSes from my 2nd line, Hotlink, sometimes can be quite a bore. Just for this time, I cannot do my funky dance everytime I get an MC from a doctor. Reason : I just can't move. Reason : I fell down dalam keadaan tidak sedar. Result : A very bad backache.

The last few days has been terrible for me and I guess it was really some sort of dugaan kot. Imagine you lying down on the bed and your handphone rings and you can't reach it even though it's like 10 cm away. Imagine not being able to take a loo without having to call someone (my mother is the best) to carry you to the toilet. Imagine not being able to go to work when you are mentally and emotionally healthy but physically unhealthy. Imagine not being able to drive your car or reaching for the remote control. All you're able to do is just lay down and listen to MP3? Nak baca buku pun lenguh tangan lame lame.. Well, that was what I experienced for the past few days.

Sememangnya setiap orang itu diduga dengan macam - macam ujian. But after all that has happened, I believe Allah is protecting me. Everything happened for a reason. And this happened was for a reason. A reason that only myself will know one day. Thanks to everyone who had prayed for me, my beloved family members, my super cool friends, my wonderful students and mind blowing fellow bloggers..

Read more...

my nightmare

I had a nightmare lastnite. It was like this... (note: this is rated PG13 ya)

I was rehearsing for our varsity play, Puteri Gunung Ledang and when we were having our take 5, i went out of the hall to get some drinks. I saw an old nenek on a wheelchair waving at me from our front gate and asking me to help her out from her wheelchair. I held out my hand signalling "kejap" and ran to the pak guard's house. Suddenly I heard a loud bang and someone screaming. I ran to the old lady and couldn't see any sign of her. Petrified, I was shaking and trying to search for her. To my surprise I saw her laying by the longkang with her wheelchair by the side. I screamed for help and there were a couple of guys who helped the old lady. One of them looked at me and shaking his head and the old lady was dead. I cried so hard and screamed "Nooooo!!" till I fell on the floor.

G (bukan nama sebenar tapi orang ni wujud) ran towards me and hugged me so tight I almost choked. I was crying because I thought I had killed the old lady. G tried to calm me down but I thought he was taking advantage of the situation. (Ape ni peluk2 orang?)
I cried and cried and G was saying "it's ok.. it's ok.. ". When I wanted to break off from his hug he didn't wanna let go. That's when I realized that he wasn't sincere.
"Oi ! Lepas la. Ape ni!" I repeatedly said that to him but he ignored and instead hugging me tighter and didn't wanna let go. I was scared and what made things worse was when the old lady suddenly stood up and stared at me. I watch her mouth movements saying "Aku akan kacau kau". I gasped and she laughed while walking towards an old house (boleh pulak jalan? tadi tak boleh bangun kat wheelchair and dah jatuh longkang lak tu). G followed the old lady while dragging me to the old house. They opened the door and nampak keadaannya macam nak tie me on a chair. It was so scary ok. But somehow, after a lot of struggling, I managed to run away from G and he chased me around the house. I went upstairs and hid in a room, behind the langsir. G entered the room with a big parang in his hand. I felt like Jennifer Love Hewit in I know what you did last summer. As G walked closer to me, I picked up a vase (ntah dari mana datangnya) and hit him in the head. He fell down and I saw blood coming out frm his head. Scary. I ran out of the house as fast as I could and suddenly arriving in a forest somesort and felt really tired from the chasing and the struggling. I sat for awhile while panting and sweating. I needed water. That's when I stood up and realized I was safely in my room on my bed. I was sweating and felt really tired and thirsty.

It was a real nightmare. And I don't think I can look at G the same way again. sheeish!

Read more...

If the shoe fits..

Yes. I did wake up quite early this morning. At 10am, while most people had just opened their eyes or still having breakfast, I was already on my way to The Gardens. I like to get up early and shop, early bird catches the worm. So I got myself a nice parking space right opposite the entrance and I thought, "this is gonna be a lovely day". So I headed to Isetan. My friend, Rizleen told me the shoes there are not bad and I had high hopes of getting myself at least one pair. I had my focus. ONLY shoes, no handbags (I bought a nice one in Singapore for a good deal).

Finding THE PERFECT SHOE is like finding THE PERFECT MAN. You have to click with it, be able to walk around with it, feel comfortable, and look good in it. I have the average Size 5 asean feet so I have to compete with the others. And knowing that today is the last day of Savings SALE, I didn't have much time.

I stumbled upon THE PERFECT SHOE at Bonia. Closed shoe, gold = price RM 399 with 50% discount. In fact, I found 2 pairs. I wanted to jump up and down and do my boogie dance because I have searched high and low for THE PERFECT SHOE (I found one in Singapore, tapi tak menyingkap jiwa, you know wat I mean?). I tried it and aaah.. PERFECT, so I asked the Salesgirl, "ada size 37 tak?"

Guess what... It was out of stock :( I could actually hear my heart being crushed (bunyik kaca) sigh~~ I called almost everybody I could think of to help me out to find this Bonia shoes. So I walked to Midvalley, none. And to Robinsons, none. Bonia shop pun none.

Nak menyedihkan lagi cerita, I also went to Dockers. I saw the sweater that I have been eyeing on.. dah le RM 178.00, apa lagi, angkat la.. But I guess, my day was just not that lucky, "size M dah habis kak" sigh..

Masih tak puas hati. I drove to Subang Parade and I said to myself, this is it la.. kalau takde, memang tak ditakdirkan to get the shoes and the sweater.. Unfortunately, still no luck...

Guess I'll just have to wait for another Mega sale.. Or perhaps I'll have better luck next time..

I came back with a 100g of Famous Amos, a working Bonia shoes brown color (not bad la), a broken heart with a back ache and an empty stomach.. I guess this early bird did not catch the worm :(

Lesson : Next time sale, go on the first day, especially when you wanna shop for shoes.. If only the shoe fits.....

Read more...

Pain

I'm in pain.
Pain.
Pain.
Pain.

Why must I be in pain ?
Every time..
Every month..

I am not shy. It's a natural process. I am in pain.
Help me.. :(

Read more...

my expression

The worst feeling that you can feel is when you feel nothing. Something like empty. have you ever felt nothing? have you ever been in a situation when you try your best to be something that you might be good at and all of a sudden, one question that pops out from your mouth made all that effort go away becoz of the question mite b miscontrued as something else.. and you kinda get taken aback becoz u never tot that that question was even a question that was relevant. i mean, all u did was juz ask a question. but bcoz of sum miscommunication or somesort, all those effort was left in vain when u get "you still don;t get it".. well maybe you really don't get it. but was you really don't get is that how could that question be miscontrued to something so negative when all you wanted to do was just ask a question out of curiosty.. and you're feeling kinda down bcoz of something that really matters to you is worry you and everything seems to just fall apart. when your frens don't get how it is that you can't hang out as much because of a reason that you have explained but somehow, it will always always be your fault because you have a history.. and no matter how clear you make things look so that people might comprehend, they just can't because they are not in your shoes and they will never be because your shoes aren't theirs to fit. and somehow just somehow, things just go wrong at the wrong place and the wrong time.. when all you wanted was to help.. sometimes being helpful is best when you're helping the ones that you really care.. and really cares for you..because no matter what, the people that truly care and truly understand are the ones who will be there for you no matter what happens, no matter how shitty things may look no matter how dirty their hands mite get..

Read more...