i watched bride wars about 2 months ago and remember the wedding planner said, 'as at now, you are dead.. until you are married.. now ? yeah, you're dead'
last week i was having something that people might call it, psychotic stress syndrome. (need not to elaborate on that), hence, the previous previous post.
today while hanging out with my brother and sister in law, suddenly i took out my wedding album and we looked at the pictures, again. it was all a nice feeling. remembering the days. and i looked at the date, i thought, it's been one month. one month since i left germany. one month since i was in the arms of my loving husband. ikhwan always say, dont think about it too much. yes, i tried not to think about it too much. but sometimes the vision comes to me. the wedding, the akad. and sometimes when i close my eyes, it was as though i was really there. imagining walking with him, swinging our arms as we walk to the grocery store, and i would talk and talk and talk and he would listen and sometimes joke around. and everytime, he has to correct my german words and say, 'kan i dah cakap dah..' and walking back from the grocery store, we would walk less slowly because we had to carry the groceries in our bags and he would look at me and say, 'sian dia..' and i would say in a tough voice, 'takpe takpe takpe' though it was heavy but it didnt matter, because he was next to me.. and the burden that we share, i would want to carry it too..because we are a team.. through thick and thin..
everything. almost every single memory. it still clear, in my head, and in my mind. though it has been one month that i didnot see him, it feels like forever. though it has been 2 monts plus that we got married, it feels like it was only yesterday that we were playing n running around the hall during the rehearsal.
my dear ikhwan, you said 'u have to write'. i write for you. i miss you..
"Tak pergi kerja ke harini?" my dad said to me as he entered my room while I was in the middle of my weird dream (which I do not want to blog about because it was just too freaky).
I opened my eyes in confusion and looked at my motorola razr, 6:18.
"$h|t! ". Yup. I started the day with a bad word. my bad. Its ironic that on Saturday and Sunday morning I was paranoid when I woke up because I didn't want to be late for work.
Today was our first day of MQA visit and I was assigned to take pictures of the event. Since I woke up late, I missed the bus. So I drove to Btg Berjuntai. Left the house at 7:01 and reached office at a solid 8:15. Alhamdulillah.
How much I wish I could write about the visit but I better not. I am not sure if it is P & C. But what I can conclude for today is I had a busy day. And my room mate said to me this, "you look very tired la Dora"
In my heart and outloud I answered, "yes, I am very tired actually.. bukan saja pasal MQA ni tapi macam2 lah.."
In the previous post, I blogged about changes and that I had change the color of my blog, I forgot to mention that I changed the position of my table in the office too, and it looks nice and spacious now. I also decided to change my current handbag because I got bored with the previous one. I do that sometimes when things get crazy and I laugh all by myself for comfort.
It's March already. So fast. I remember counting down the new year just recently on the internet with MSO and also having that Black & White 2007 Affair event.
Well, just felt like blogging since talking needs a lot of energy and at this moment I have very little of those (I am a lecturer, I talk alot).
Right next to me, Fahim (2 years and 6 months) is switching on the computer by himself and singing to Rossa's Ayat - Ayat Cinta almost 8 times already (really smart boy).
Suddenly rasa sayu and diri ini sungguh kecil and kerdil. MasyaAllah, the effects of good movies.
Googling a place to go for a holiday. I know I want to feel the sandy beach in my feet and swim the deep blue ocean and take pictures of sunrise and sunset (note to self: need to buy an extra memory card and extra batteries for my SLR), drink fancy drinks with little umbrellas by the side of the glass, wear pareos and flip flops with my aviator sunglasses.
I wish I could be as charismatic, calm and reserved just like J-Lo in Shall We Dance. It amazes me how she can dance using those heels (love the shoes) with that perfect posture. Firm yet graceful. The movie is nice and the ending is not so cliche'. I like. Plus, I've always been a Richard Gere fan. My favourite scene would be when Richard Gere was holding a rose wearing a 3piece suit on the escalator.. (Very romantic.. Aduh... Lemah...)
Today I chatted with 3 of MSO's siblings. The youngest one was really cute. She is the same age as Izzah. The 2nd youngest is like a photocopied image of MSO and the 3rd youngest is abit laid back..
I am very disappointed with Astro. It hasn't been working for almost 2 weeks now. And I missed the last episode of Alexander Bukan Zulkarnain (sorry Syirfan. But I will definitely get the original CD, do update me). Luckily Cikyah SMSed me at 11pm with the conclusion, "At the moment we settle for cyrus as iskandar". I thought so. Since Alexander's features were the total opposite of Iskandar Zulkarnain in the Quran, Surah Al-Kahfi.
On a brighter note, I finished the first chapter of the autobiography of a supermodel Alek Wek while riding in the bus to work. I thought it was beautifully written and as usual I am taking my time reading it and indulging myself through some creative writings. I try to put myself in her shoes but it doesn't seem to fit. Some of the things that were described were beautifully arranged that I wish I could watch it in the movie. I've always loved to go to different countries and learn their cultures and histories. Perhaps I will one day, insyaAllah..
Oh yes, and I soo don't believe on Friday the 13th. 13 is my significant lucky number. Like seriously.
A cool incident happened today before leaving work. All I can say is that cantik is such a beautiful word :)
i've been having nice dreams lately. it guess it balances with the nightmare i had a few days back. weird indeed.
Conversation over dinner :
Ma: Amek la kangkung ni Me: em.. (alamak sayur kangkung).. ok Ma. Ma: tau tak mcmne datangnya nama sayur kangkung? Me: Mcmne? Ma: Orang dulu2 citer.. dulu masak sayur kangkung, bunyi kat kuali.. kang.. kung.. kang.. kung.. hehehe (joking) Me: Hehehehe
Conversation after dinner :
Pa: Nama dia Barack Hussein Obama. Ma: His father was a Muslim. Me: Oh! bama! (melatah sambil basuh pinggan)
The Change We Need
Today at class, I felt like Coach Carter in the first half of the movie Coach Carter. Hope all ends well (like Coach Carter).. Wish me luck as I need loads of patience.....
Maman sang this song to Eda Nerina in one of the scenes in Layar Lara. I thought it was marvelous.
I too sing to this song whenever I listen to it. It kinda takes me back to the 80s when I used to stay back at school and while doing my homework and the abang kantin will put on this song and sing his heart out imagining the mop as the microphone.
I couldnt help but bop my head to the beat of Ma ma ma myyyy sharona on Red 104.9 on the way back from work. The drivers from the opposite side saw me and suddenly bopped their heads too (I know, it sounds so like a Ben Stiller movie or some 30rock episode but that really happened, seriously..).
The day started with a gasp (takut lambat) and a smile (sebab belum lambat.. lagi..). The usual salam ritual with my parents for blessings and I was off to work. I wanted to make today a kick a** day. so I was hyped up with a lot of positive energy around. The morning class with the degree students was alright. Teaching 15 students in a class is manageable (when 14 of them are female students.. and I was singing Paula Cole's where have all the cowboys gone?).
After class, I was approached by a some sort of a Sabahan student who wanted to see me personally for some personal reason. After hearing his story, I said it was okay to enter my class. See, he has a low grade point average and judging from the way he speaks, I guess he is a changed person and is willing to work hard. As long as he has the will, I will too try my best to help him.
The interesting part of the day started in the afternoon with my foundation students. For this semester, I have 6 foundation students consist of 3 Malays, 2 Indians and 1 Chinese. Very muhibbah. I have even planned for them a treasure hunt or some sort of Explorace as one of their assignments. But as I entered the class today, on top of my Muhibbah students, I saw 3 international students. I thought I was in the wrong class. so I stepped out of the class for abit and later on realized that WAS my class. Ok, so no big deal. just 3 Sudanese students. So I had a brief ice breaking session with them and then came another 2. It felt really international when 3 other Sudanese joined the class. Turns out all of them changed courses so that they had to take Statistics.
I have to say, I enjoyed today's class. It was some experience. Studying with international students is very much different as to teaching them. They might get lost in translation. However, I could see that they concentrated in class and were really active compared to our local students. They even made casual jokes with me and actually understood MY jokes :) [ok, you should understand that it is very difficult to crack a joke with students without being offensive but friendly yet accepted and proper ones] And suddenly, from being very much muhibbah, we were very much international.. They also mananged to guess my age right (darn it).
After explaining to them. I asked, "Fahim tum?" and they answered "fahim tum" kot? And again I asked "la musykil ?" So they figured, I could speak arabic (thanks to my dad's perseverance in studying Arabic, I can throw a couple of phrases). And one of them started to speak Arabic to me.. And I confidently nodded while saying "Na'am.. na'am" I could see that he figured I was just saying that when I saw him turning to his friend and said something with a question mark kinda tone. And by the looks of his gestures, I think he said "did she understand what I was saying?" ahahaha... And apparently my name is a precious stone or pearl in Arabic if pronounced Durrah.. How cool is that ?
At the end of the class, one of them came up to me and said, "Very nice lecture. Thank you Miss". No amount of bonuses or part time income could compete the feeling of having a student saying that to you. Indeed very rewarding. It may be a simple phrase but it means a lot to a person. And sometimes you might see your lecturers make that straight face but deep down inside, you have no idea how you make his/her day by saying that. I guess it goes the same way if you express your gratitude to someone. It makes them feel appreciated. So I resolve to say Thank you and mean it more often now :)
Perhaps what I was thinking in my head earlier while driving to work was right. Life is journey. You never know what's ahead of you. You can prepare yourself. Sometimes when you take a turn, you hope for no bumps and no jams. But even when you endure a jam and or bumps, you can always enjoy the journey with some great songs to make you feel happy, wonderful thoughts and never the least, prayers to keep you safe, Insya Allah.
Wish me luck for my challenging challenge this semester.. again.. The class was fun and I hope to maintain that environment for the whole semester and for as long as I am in this industry, InsyaAllah.. Guess I'm gonna have to add up Arabic on top of German language now.. hehehe I enjoy learning languages :)
Winona Ryder, her haircut and everything else in Reality Bites is just so cool.. Enjoy Ma ma ma my sharona.. this had resulted in me bopping my head for about a minute.. you might bop to it too hehe
