I have Tuesday and Wednesday left to go to work. Up till now, I only have a bit of sadness. But when my students come and see me, I will feel sad.
Life has to move on. And so, I am moving on with life.
I wish me all the best in my new future :)
btw, im starting with my MY series again...
When I'm working hard to stay alive, that's jihad. When I'm seriously studying, that's jihad.
Someone once told me that when you are studying, it's like jihad. It's like going to war. And the people who are assisting you in the process of learning or studying is like assisting you going to war.
When you are sincere in delivering, the knowledge will reach them somehow.. It's sad to see how people forget to be nice on their way up.. If this is how people become when they are on their way up, then I don't mind staying the same..
Brighter note : kids working hard on my paper. it's nice to see that they enjoy what they learn.
ask me then : office politics ? apa tu ?
ask me now : hmm.. biasa lah.. office politics
Work used to be so much fun. Going to work. Teaching. Looking at the students' confused faces and trying to comprehend what they don't comprehend. Playing mind games and teaching them statistics and life. Plus, jadi orang suruhan (a.k.a kuli buat kerja kerja small timer) dah biasa). Tapi bila ada orang menambah perencah to spice up the workplace, tu yang jadi takbest.
For the first time in my 2 and a half years of my working life, I don't enjoy going to work.
I don't.
I want to press FAST FORWARD to 31st January 2010. Only during 8am - 6pm weekdays.
I believe that Allah loves me and the people that is being tested by Him.
Im in a foreign place, different bed, different toilet, different air. Im away from my husband, my parents and my family. Im so not used to this. Its like asrama all over again.
thats how i felt staying in the staff apartment nearby my office. my parents went to PD earlier this week and i crashed at my friend's place. the place was not bad. maybe the fact that i am so used to coming back home from work, coming back to another place gave me the asrama-feel. wats cool about my job is its flexible 9 working hour. punch in early, punch out early. punch in late, punch out late. we dont have the problem of the queing up for the lift to get to our workstation, being in the rat race and having unbelievably suicidal KL rush hour. Cause in btg berjuntai, cows would dance if there was a rush hour. thats the perks of working in a ghetto area.
My line of job may look simple and relaxed. But dealing with humans is not as easy as it looks. This almost made me crack a tear.
"puan, puan rasa saya boleh lulus ke?"
i looked at his coursework marks. I was really scared to reach into deep down inside my heart to give him the answer. i decided to find the answer in my mind.
"u must work really hard now. jgn skali2 awak putus semangat. keep on working really hard. inshallah akan berhasil kalau aawak tidak putus asa. jangan give up ok."
before exiting my room, he looked back at me.. with eyes filled with hope.
"baiklah puan. inshallah saya akan buat yang terbaik. terima kasih puan atas segala ilmu ni puan. saya minta halalkan ye puan."
The mind is a really powerful tool.
I always thought that statistics is cooler than calculus. There are always new research especially in social science that you can check out from many many journals. Or sometimes they just publish it in the papers and Prof. or Dr. can give conclusions and comments on it (when the ones who did the real dirty jobs are Research Assistants). I had some gigs as a Statistician. From Raw Primary Data to real conclusions and inferences. I keyed in every data, I could comprehend or predict the outcomes.
For tomorrow's tutorial, I decided to create my own Tutorial questions rather than selecting from the text book. When I was brushing my teeth earlier, I thought of examples that my students can relate to so that they will remember hopefully for the rest of their lives. I stumbled upon an interesting fact. Nielson did a study and found out that the average time per person spend on facebook.com is 4 hours and 39 minutes. Sheeishh.. That's almost 2/3 of my sleeping time. Now I can understand Ikhwan's FB status a few weeks back (He is not an FB fan hehe).
The semester will be ending soon and as usual, I will have this weird feeling. Yes. Its called sedih but happy. Happy that I did my job and carried out my responsibilities not only as an academician but also as a big sister. Of course sad. Sad that I dont know when I will ever see them again. Will they remember me or apply whatever I have taught them. Scared. Hope. Hoping that they will be a successful person one day. I dont really mind if they forget me. Knowing that they have achieved their goals in life, I would be the sidelines apart from their parents and family members who will silently share their joy and happiness.
I ended my tutorial paper with this quote:
When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity.- Steve Pavlina.
This one is dedicated to my dear husband, Ikhwan.
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
In Business Statistics class this week, I taught them 2 way ANOVA. I started the class with this,
'Before I start my lecture, I want you to open your hearts, and your minds. Because the knowledge that you are about to download, the Gigabyte is very big.'
They laughed.
After an hour of lecture and watching their kepala berasap, I gave them a take 5 before continuing. The second half of the class, I discussed some examples and only a few could follow.
'That's why I said, you must open your heart.. '
'But Madam, how? My heart is somewhere else?' one guy made a joke.
I played along, 'then my heart will go on la..'
Laughters.
After discussing the answers, I could see some faces who understood the topic and started to explain to their colleagues.
I tried to motivate them by saying this 'It may look difficult at first. Because you are not used to it.. But once your used to it, you'll be fine'
To relate, I added, '...... is like getting married. Your heart must be open, then things will go with the flow.. Of course you're not used to it at first, but with a lot of practise you'll be ok'
Suddenly, the whole class burst into laughters. And I realized after one of them asked...
'Practise apa Puan?'
I turned to the board as I felt my face was burning.
Tang tu cepat pulak paham............... kids!
In my lectures, sometimes I'd like to insert some values for my students. I'd give them advices about life, sometimes I´d share some of my experiences when I was studying, or maybe just give them words of wisdom. Reason being, I don't want to be just a lecturer who lectures (academically), but also a friend or maybe someone who at least said something that made them to be a better person.
Today in class, I divided them into groups of four. And their task was to calculate and plot deciles, percentiles and quartiles. The trick is, each group has at least one international student. And I made them discuss fully in English (biarpun berterabur) to be fair. It was fun looking at them. hehe.
So while they were doing their work, I told them about strategy.
'Before you start answering, you must have a strategy. So that you will save time answering and your answers are accurate. Do you know what is strategy?'
They kept quiet.
I asked the Nigerian guy, what is strategy in Nigerian language?
He said, 'it's strategy'
ok..
What is strategy in Eritrian language ?
One of the Eritrian guy answered with his hands in the air like he's about to do The Pavoratti. 'it's strategy'
ok..
they already started laughing.
And then I asked the Maldives guy, how about in your country?
'also strategy' with his heads shaking and a bit of hindustani accent..
ok...
Finally I asked the Sudanese guy, 'let me guess, strategy is strategy in Arabic right?'
'No, its strategyiah... '
Everyone laughed..
Aaaa.... okkkkk....
(Perhaps it would've been funnier if you were there...)
When you have faith in someone but that person keeps on letting you down but somehow you know that he can do it however at the same time you are tied with responsibilities and protocols stuff. what do you do ?
See, this is my challenge for this semester (one of the many challenges). My instinct says and believes that Student A will ace my paper. I've seen how he/she works in class. But we are obliged by rules. Student A comes to my class whenever he/she feels like it. Despite that, Student A can answer most of my questions better than the others who attends my class.
I spoke to Lecturer X (Student A's mentor), Lecturer Y, and Lecturer Z.
Lecturer Y says, 'Push him/her, teach him/her a lesson. Give warning letter. Bar Student A from sitting for finals'.
Lecturer X says, 'hmm.. I know him/her.. It's that age.. the rebellious age.. but how aa?'
For me, this is one problem I cannot solve... Plus, minus, divide, multiply, differentiate and integrate... I even ln and exponen kan the f(x).... Still... the answer is... [SYNTAX ERROR]
Predicament.
When i woke up i thought a lot about the dream i had a few days ago. It was very clear that I had pictured it vividly. It was replayed over and over again in my mind. I know that it must've meant something. So I told a friend of mine about the dream. it just so happens that she's good at interpreting dreams (not tukang telek ye, more like psychological interpretation).
Perhaps she is right. For the second dream that i had the following day, if only words are prayers. and good words are good prayers, if at that exact moment that Allah heard my prayers and my friend's good words, I am truly thankful.
Today, after class,
'Excuse me Madam. I didn't get your name?'
'Oh.. u didn't come for the first class.. my name is (writing on the white board)'
'Ooo ok.. yes yes. XX told me about u. You taught XX last semester right?'
'Yes i did (smiling). What did XX tell you?'
With that statement, after reaching my office, I poured 3 cups of nescafe and did a whole lot of productive work. Remember how it felt like when your teacher / lecturer writes, 'Good job!' or 'Keep it up!' on your test papers? That's how I felt today. That's why I make it a point to comment on good achievements to motivate my students. U can see the difference. A lot.
The 3 minutes long distance phone call was at 1130 last night. It was worth the wait. What's cool about my husband is that he is super punctual. During the call, I just closed my eyes while listening to every frequency and noise. I could hear his footsteps walking up the stairs, opening the door, opening the other door, and putting his coins and mp3 player on the table and his bag at one corner. It was almost like being there :) One thing I know is that he is passionate about his work. May Allah bless my husband and his hard work and open the doors for his rezeki inshallah. Ameen.
What's new about me? I think, I feel that I am changing. I used to be good at expressing myself in writing, but this time, cant quite describe it with words.
Change for the better, inshallah.
Just like those penceramah, I would like to end this post with a quote taken from the Muslim bride. An advise to Muslim wives.
Be a floor to him, he will be a roof to you; be a soft seat to him, he will be a pillar for you; and be like a slave girl to him and he will be a slave boy to you. Avoid inopportune behaviour, least he should be bored with you; and be not aloof lest he should become indifferent to you. If he approaches you, come running to him; and if he turns away, do not impose yourself upon him. Take care of his nose, his eye and his ear. Let him not smell except a good odour from you; let not his eye see you except in an agreeable appearance; and let him hear nothing from you except nice, fine words.
nice fine words for meine Mann..
Halo bb, ich liebe dich.. Jehtz, ich kann sprechen Deutsch bb, ya? :)
shon tag noch :)
auf wiederhoren
Gute Nacht b!
von Ihrer Frau..
'Puan, puan mesti penat kan ajar saya? Berkali kali cakap pun tak paham paham jugak..'
What do you say to a very weak student but is willing to learn?
I was saying to myself, Sabar sabar...
Who said being a lecturer is easy ? Screaming for 6 hours with heels walking around class and entertaining each and everyone of your students. repeating.
learn
relearn
unlearn
That's what they taught us in the Teaching and Learning Course.
What i need now, is a lot of patience. a lot. like, really a lot. Hey, patience has its rewards. i truly believe in that....
alamak, sorry..
I unintentionally made readers misconstrued my previous post.. maaf maaf...
no i am not what you think i am.. hehehe not yet.. sorry sangat sangat..
i will explain what i mean end of the year ok :) sowwieeeeee
after saying what i wanted to say, i got a reply that almost brought tears to my eyes.
'That's great. I think you will be .......'
EMOTIONS.
What a coincidence that today I watched 30 Rock's end of season 2.
"Oh no, emotions! Are you having that woman time?"
"No.. I haven't had that since... wait! (gasps)"
After THAT being said, today was a very productive day.
when i was younger, i used to read a lot. my parents would reward me with books after i finished reading another book and the reward me with another one and another one. till puberty starts to kick in. i changed from reading to writing. the reading i stopped but writing i kept on moving. just recently i started to read again. and felt that how could i have stopped reading all these years? there are just so many talented writers out there bombarding us with amazing stories.
i have mentioned many times that i am a slow reader, just like erin brokovich. but my dad says i type real fast. which is a talent i gained after doing numerous typing jobs to earn extra income (during those days) and of course the late night IRC chats post SPM time.
Post SPM time. those days, those days that I chatted with Ikhwan as a friend not knowing that I would still be chatting with him as his wife 10 years later. the days that I went out with him as friends and that he had come over to my house on my birthday party not knowing that he would come again to seek my parents' consent to marry me.
It's funny how the past, the present and the future are dependent, correlated, varies but somehow remain constant.. It's the maths and stats of life.
for this, i write,
for you, i will write
I stopped watching Weeds and 30 Rock. No don't get me wrong. The series are superbly funny and disturbingly entertaining. I'm afraid I might get bored if I finished watching all of the series to soon. So I'd like to keep the suspense.
I decided to catch up on Entourage Season 2 (I know lembap gile). The first episode of the season is titled, 'the boys are back' and i love the song for the ending. Muse's Time is running out. my long vacation is now over (forawhile) and I am starting on the new semester. and i always tell my students, maths and statistics is all about time and accuracy everytime i say time is running out and that would give me a big long sigh.
My big challenge this semester would be.. how to teach statistics to a math prodigy ? I have this song everytime I go to my 2pm and 830am class on wednesdays and thursdays.
waiting of u bb ;) hugs n kisses.. there's a surprise.. it's in your email.. i hope you like it... i love u..
I read this and it amazed me. ada pulak orang nak balik cawan teh kat mona lisa.
Today was the first meeting with the new students. And the usual introduction session was held. And that was the first time I heard myself saying it out loud.
"My name is Madam D... J. I am a statistics lecturer"
Wow.
The new semester will be commencing next week. I feel so karat now. It's been three months of no teaching. I'm not sure if I can write properly on the white board. And of course, the first class for every group. At least I'm certain that I am lefthanded... or am i ? heheh kidding.
I have been assigned only to teach Degree students for the July semester (yeay! woohooo!!) and September's Foundation which will start after raya. So, bz bz bz. Good la. Cause I wanna keep myself busy so that time will pass by quickly and suddenly it will be the end of 2009 :)
This semester's mode : serious and no play play. watch out students. ha ha ha.
This morning I reached the office and got this offline msg
Ikhwan:: Dora :: (8/12/2009 3:35:54 AM): hi bb.. i love u so much...sleep tight and have sweet dreams k.. missing u my wife ;)
And it's still on my desktop's icon.........
ich vermisse dich bb :)
German word of the day is Anmelden, means, Sign In.
Yes, i figured it out here cause everthing is in German. The google.com.de instead of google.com.my, the keyboard (I am still having a hard time finding the DEL, CTRL and SHIFT key and sometimes confuse the Y and the Z and they have this ß, ö, ä, ü). I had a hard time installing JAVA cause everything was in german.. It took me awhile to take out $ from the ATM machine cause Ikhwan had to assist me, the tv channels are all in German except CNN.. even the instructions to the curry powder are in german :) hehe I laughed and thought gosh, Guten Tag, Danke and bitte schön are just nanobytes of the German language.. and I really wanna learn more now :) it's exciting!
It's amazing. Living in a foreign land, with a foreign language and everything else is foreign except your other half who understands what your saying.. I still sometimes pinch myself (literally). Alhamdulillah..
We still have a bit of jet lagged, and sometimes the occassional homesick kicks in. But thanks to Ikhwan's Voipstunt, I call home on average 2 times a day to check on Mama Papa and sometimes ask Mama on how to cook curry or to manage kitchen things (which I am learning very hard now). No complaints from Ikhwan so far. And knowing him, he doesn't complain. Now that I am staying with him and understanding his life over here, I learned why he doesn't complain. This experience opened my eyes on how we should really be thankful with what we have. And Alhamdulillah.. Things could be worse.. But Allah is generous to bless us with what we have now. I am not just saying it because he is my husband and the bunga bunga cinta talk, I know him for how many years, though through very distant but we talk a lot and we understand and trust each other. People who know him knows that he doesn't complain. That's just Ikhwan. One of the many reasons why I love him.
Yes, married life in a foreign land. I am still coping and learning. Sometimes I feel like it's orientation when he shows me how to use the coffee machine, how to do the laundry, or showing me around places or what to do when what happens. Hehe. There are times that I feel like a freaking Asean tourist (which I am apparently) with 1 DSLR camera and a very good compact camera with 2 batteries (yes I know I am a freak). I get that occassional weird look which I am starting to get used to. I am loving every German thing and I will say, 'Omigod, that is sooooo German!!!' and of course he will roll his eyes and shake his head.. hehehe..
People will ask me, 'how's married life?' (usually the ones who are married) and me being naive will tell them what I feel. Some will give advices, some will just grin and give me they 'yeah this is only the beginning' look. It's hard to comprehend what people have in their minds when they throw me those questions. Are they just waiting to rub it in to my face ? Are they genuinely happy for me ? Are they waiting for me to give them an answer that they really wanna hear ? Honestly, I think that people should not ask someone on how's their marriage life is like. Because in Islam, and to me, personally, I feel that it's very personal. And I believe that whatever a person share with their other half is only between the two of them.
So yes, it's been a few weeks. And I don't know much about this new life but give me a chance to explore and learn and experience. And I think the best of people to give advice to us are our parents. Because they raised us from day one. They are the ones who know us, our actions, the way we think and the way we handle any situation. and the best part is.. They have never asked us 'how's married life?' because I know at every prayer, they pray for us.. Thanks Mama, Papa, Mak and Ayah :)
I know I promised a lot of pictures but give me time to edit it first ok.. Cikyah shared with me a very interesting lesson in photography she learned from Sifu Foo, 'there's always a story to be told in every picture. You must concentrate and think very hard on what story you want to tell and click with your heart'
Hey people, its Friday and i LOVE it. I'm listening to Nelly Furtado's I'm like a bird. So many things has been going on and I've been superbly busy.
This morning, my coordinator came by to see me saying that there's a student who requested for a rechecking of paper. Yes, I experience this almost every semester. Mesti ada student yang nak recheck. And to be honest, it's a mild insult (some sort) macam seolah - olah questioning my credibility as a lecturer. The best part is, student X got an F and he thinks he can score a D at least and it's almost 10% difference. Gosh~
Next Wednesday will be the last day of work for me before my long leave :) I have these songs in my head now:-
1. Baby I Love Your Way - Big Mountain
2. Stars Are Blind - Paris Hilton
3. Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Do you know what do these songs have in common?
These songs will automatically transport me to the beach :)
Yes, kepala takde sangat isu mindblowing yang nak diblog kan..
Conclusion, me happy to love and to be loved :) alhamdulillah ala salama
I think I wont be blogging for a long time (kot). Warum ? Limaza ? Kenapa ? Why ?
You'll know why :)
Today I bumped into HOUSE when I reached the office at 920am. He called me on Friday when I was on MC and said to see him today.
dj : assalamualaikum HOUSE.
house : walaikumsalam dora, apa kabar?
dj : sehat alhamdulillah, HOUSE nak jumpa saya kan harini ?
house : (puzzled) yeke ?
dj : HOUSE yg ckp haritu kata nak jumpa hari Khamis?
house : ye ke? tentang apa?
dj : errr...taktau...
house : ntah saya pun tak igt.. takpe la tak perlu
dj : (?@#$#$@*) ok (smiling)
APEKAH ??? buat suspen je seminggu.
btw, the semester has started and it feels weird that I am not teaching.. my former students comes to visit me everyday telling me about their new lecturers and how they miss coming to my class and asking me to teach them.. and they would wanna fail Statistics just so that they can repeat coming to my class. hehehe..
Saat saat begini, rasa diri ini sungguh dihargai :)
FASM (Faculty of Applied Sciences and Mathematics) is now known as FAculty Suka Meeting.. Or in BM is FSGM (Fakulti Sains Gunaan dan Matematik) = Fakulti Sangat Gemar Meeting. Hehe~
Yes, meeting meeting and meeting. Bila meeting sometimes ada makan, sometimes takde makan.
Tomorrow we will be meeting the new intake for May08/09 semester. As usual, saya sebagai photographer kehormat perlu lah bertugas..
Every new semester will mark a new chapter, a new beginning, azam baru, to be a better lecturer and stuff.. Only this new semester, Ms.D won't be around.
Yesterday i saw MSO for the first time this year..
the feeling is unbelievable...
sukar nak diungkapkan..
After 9 months plus of being continents apart, I finally get to see his face again in person..
Jatuh cinta untuk kali kedua.. ;)
(blush)
Ok selamat petang ye. Tajuk saya harini adalah berkenaan dengan teaching & learning.
I am an academician. And as academicians, sharing and dissimenating knowledge runs in our veins. My mother is now a penchant teacher, she still carries that teacher vibe. My dad used to be a teacher also, also carries the same vibe. And I followed their footsteps venturing in this field. MSO says that I am very patient, that's why I can become a lecturer (tapi adakalanya hilang jugak sabar or paling tak pun, rase nak cubit cubit je).
The places that I went to study contrued very positive teaching & learning experience. In elementary school, I cried when my standard 1 teacher, Mrs. Chong decided to leave the school. I felt a very big loss when our practical teacher, Ms. Aida, left us after she completed her training. The teachers who taught me is a part of MY teaching and learning process. and they have contributed to what I am today. In form 3, I remember I failed my history Mid Term test and teacher made me stand up in class and every body knew I failed the test. Yes, it has effected me so deeply (memalukan weh, dah la 15 years old, baru kenal erti puberty, peer pressure and all those teenage angst). But I studied really hard and I improved a lot. The embarrasment I had to bear resulted in getting straight As and landed me to a very good school. (Terima Kasih Cikgu)
In boarding school, I wasn't the smartest. I was a mediocre, in fact, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be in that school and it was just luck who had brought me there. Everybody studied like mad and wanted to be a doctor and score 4.00. they walked really fast cause nak kejar masa. And everyone would check on everyone else to see how much they have studied, and if they see me just chilling, they would think that I have studied and would be worried (I really hated that).
My addmaths teacher showed me that maths is very interesting and really easy to understand. and there's always a logic explanation to everything. My physics teacher shared that the subject is in fact a very intriguing phenomenon.. and that every action has an equal an opposite reaction. We had the best Chemistry teacher who always use different colors for different equations. and she will give us motivational quotes and read the do'a before lectures for Allah's blessing. My English teacher, Sir Kamil (Haris, aku tau ko sure tergelak terbahak bahak bila baca ni.. jahat la wei) He still remembers me when I go back to school. He's very genuine and loves to talk. He will talk and talk and talk and laugh by himself. But it had made the class enjoyable. Last but not least, my homeroom teacher. The one everybody feared most because he was the strictest. The one and only computer teacher, En. Fauzi. At 17, we learned a lot. Not just books, but also about life. (Terima Kasih Cikgu)
This is very mean, but I have erased most of the memories during my matriculations. It was when I hated chemistry, loved Physics, discovered Biology but became really bad at maths. (Terima Kasih Cikgu)
In university, we had THE BEST actuarial science lecturers. The coolest and mind blowingly smartest maths and statistics lecturers. They treated us like adults. When they teach, you can see that they are genuine and that they want you to learn.. and when they scold us, is not because of they want to feel great, but because it's for our own good..
But of course, the ones that had accepted me even when they know that I am average, I am truly grateful.
There's a saying in academics, "when you accept a student, you accept the responsibility of not only teaching but helping to shape a human being to be someone better in their future. and this responsibility is in your hands from the first day you see them. you might not see them again, but whatever that they practise of what you teach, you will be rewarded, insha Allah"
These people, inspired me to be a good lecturer / teacher..
I know it's abit late, I only had the time and feel to blog today..
© Blogger templates Shiny by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008
Back to TOP
