Showing posts with label islamic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label islamic. Show all posts

Salam Maal Hijrah

>> Thursday, December 17, 2009

Tomorrow is 1 Muharam 1431H. My new year's resolution this time is abit different.. Haven't thought about the specific targets though..

But I resolve to be...

a good wife to my husband
a good daughter to my parents and daughter in law to my parents in law
a good sister to all my brothers and sisters and in laws
a good mother to my children (inshallah when the right time comes)
a good aunt to all my nieces and nephews
a good friend to all my friends
a good employee to my employer
a good student to my school of life

a better Muslimah and a better person for each and everyday..

will post my hopes and wishes and targets in the next post..

Salam Maal Hijrah to all Muslims all over the world!

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divine intervention

>> Friday, October 23, 2009

I brought back home some unsubscribed magazines that has been wrongly sent to my office for the past year. One headline caught my attention.

'Pa, what's divine intervention?'
My dad pointed up with his index finger.
'Ooooo.. tapi kenapa divine intervention?'

He explained that the world intervention came from the word intervene. And I immediately understood.

Yesterday, before reaching home about 730pm, I saw a guy on a motorcycle parked nearby my front door neighbour and he looked suspicious. Because where I live, people don't just hang out, my housing area is abit secluded. So a foreign person sitting there just looks weird. So I circled the whole area 3 times and called my mom informing her about the suspicious person. My mom then called our neighbour and i parked my car in front of her house as she waited by the gate and we casually acted like we borak2.. i left my lights open and pointed straight at him. i guess he felt uneasy and put on his helmet and just left. i called the police to inform them about it and they came to make rounds nearby our neighbourhood.

2 hours later, my brother called telling me that yesterday, same incident happened at the other neighbourhood to a lady who came back from work around my time. she went out from the car and he got mugged by a guy with a parang.

that news shook me up big time. alhamdulillah nothing happened to me. if that person had bad intentions, it was really Divine intervention that had saved me.
alhamdulillah...... really....

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i like this word, pillar

>> Wednesday, October 21, 2009

When i woke up i thought a lot about the dream i had a few days ago. It was very clear that I had pictured it vividly. It was replayed over and over again in my mind. I know that it must've meant something. So I told a friend of mine about the dream. it just so happens that she's good at interpreting dreams (not tukang telek ye, more like psychological interpretation).

Perhaps she is right. For the second dream that i had the following day, if only words are prayers. and good words are good prayers, if at that exact moment that Allah heard my prayers and my friend's good words, I am truly thankful.

Today, after class,

'Excuse me Madam. I didn't get your name?'

'Oh.. u didn't come for the first class.. my name is (writing on the white board)'

'Ooo ok.. yes yes. XX told me about u. You taught XX last semester right?'


'Yes i did (smiling). What did XX tell you?'


With that statement, after reaching my office, I poured 3 cups of nescafe and did a whole lot of productive work. Remember how it felt like when your teacher / lecturer writes, 'Good job!' or 'Keep it up!' on your test papers? That's how I felt today. That's why I make it a point to comment on good achievements to motivate my students. U can see the difference. A lot.

The 3 minutes long distance phone call was at 1130 last night. It was worth the wait. What's cool about my husband is that he is super punctual. During the call, I just closed my eyes while listening to every frequency and noise. I could hear his footsteps walking up the stairs, opening the door, opening the other door, and putting his coins and mp3 player on the table and his bag at one corner. It was almost like being there :) One thing I know is that he is passionate about his work. May Allah bless my husband and his hard work and open the doors for his rezeki inshallah. Ameen.

What's new about me? I think, I feel that I am changing. I used to be good at expressing myself in writing, but this time, cant quite describe it with words.

Change for the better, inshallah.

Just like those penceramah, I would like to end this post with a quote taken from the Muslim bride. An advise to Muslim wives.

Be a floor to him, he will be a roof to you; be a soft seat to him, he will be a pillar for you; and be like a slave girl to him and he will be a slave boy to you. Avoid inopportune behaviour, least he should be bored with you; and be not aloof lest he should become indifferent to you. If he approaches you, come running to him; and if he turns away, do not impose yourself upon him. Take care of his nose, his eye and his ear. Let him not smell except a good odour from you; let not his eye see you except in an agreeable appearance; and let him hear nothing from you except nice, fine words.

nice fine words for meine Mann..
Halo bb, ich liebe dich.. Jehtz, ich kann sprechen Deutsch bb, ya? :)
shon tag noch :)
auf wiederhoren
Gute Nacht b!
von Ihrer Frau..

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WLP

>> Friday, September 25, 2009

There are times that things happen that is so unbelievable that you look up the sky and ask God, 'really?'

You have two choices, to sigh or to be grateful.

Alhamdulillah, Allah is testing me.
Alhamdulillah, Allah remembers me and wants me to remember Him.
Alhamdulillah, it could be worse.
For every tests there is a reward for patience.
A fellow Muslim would remind us.

Ramadhan for me has been amazing. And as we bid the Holy month goodbye and embrace Syawal, there's a mixed feeling of sadness and joy. For me personally, the feeling was so deep that it's hard to reach. No words can describe how I feel, no cameras to capture the moment, no electronic device can reach the level of frequency of everything that I wish I could share.

I pray to Allah that He gives me wisdom, love and patience (WLP).. for everything has it's time..

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those late night shows

>> Thursday, September 10, 2009

Today's German word of the day is die Antwort - reply

In German, the w is pronounced like a v. and the v is pronounced like an f.

I would rather know the truth even though it hurts rather than being comforted with a lie.

This was taken from The Kite Runner. I thought the words are beautiful. Something that we all can relate to really.

In many cases, we could see the vast difference between a man and a woman. I agree that woman are more inclined to using their emotions (I am a woman) and men (manly man) handles most issues using their minds. Which makes them (men) a more appropriate candidate to lead a family. God created woman with such delicacy and perfection, and how complicated we may seem, inside and out, physically and emotionally, we are important to mankind. God created woman after He created man. A woman is made from a man's rib. Close to his heart to be loved and above his feet to be respected.

In The Muslim Bride, I learned a lot of things. Not only how to be a Bride for the day, but also a wife and a daughter and inshaAllah one day a mother. I realized that Allah made men and women not equal. But fair.

Yes, I do miss my husband dearly. Perhaps there are no words could really describe how I feel (sounds like in a song) but really I do. And somehow along our conversations, I know that he misses me too, he may not say it as it as often as I do. but I know he does. coz i know him.. I understand that he has a lot of things going on.. and how I wish I could be there to lessen his burden.. to greet him with a hug and a kiss everytime he comes back from work.. to serve him to eat after a long hard day work.. and bring him sweet deserts and green or red cordial drinks.. to pretend washing dishes after dinner and quietly watch him while he quietly reads my blog to check out what his wife has been up to, to hang out with him playing guitar hero and watch Conan O Brien or 30 rock or Eureka till late night.. I hope and pray that those days will come again soon, inshaAllah..

I know that he loves me as much as I love him. And I also know that he wants me to be patient... cause he is being more than patient.. and he is a much stronger person than I am.. for that, he is my better half.. for that, i too, have to be patient... Maybe I haven't been what I am supposed to be, to I haven't been doing what I should have done.. but I will try to be more patient now.. ok bb ? :)

For you, a thousand times over..

Thinking of you
Thinking of you
Cause in your eyes, I'd like to stay... I love you bb..

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water over wine ?

>> Sunday, August 30, 2009

I gave this unknown theory to some of my friends. Today I found out that the theory I gave was inaccurate. Sorry. Instead of 72 hours to take action from when you want to start something, its supposed to be 48 hours (sorry cikyah, wrong info). Please refer to Dr. Fazilah Kamsah on this.

Speaking of Dr. FK, I love to watch his motivational series on OASIS. Since we don't have astro anymore, I only get the chance to watch it when I go to my sister's place or my brother's house. So I was watching it today before iftar, and an interesting quote caught my attention. 'Rasulullah SAW tidak suka pada orang yang berputus asa. Syaitan gemar dengan orang yang berputus asa.'

Giving up. A word that has never been in my dictionary. People who are really close to me would know that I am a very optimistic person, even when the odds seem ridiculous. My tag line would be, 'I will find ways' when at times the roads may look like a dead end. What amazes me most is that God works in mysterious and miraculous ways. And somehow, I worked my way through with the help of Allah. Yes, Allah is always with me. Allah is always with us. Through thick and thin. Prof Razak, a mathematician, a mentor to others and a fellow Muslim shared this and I will remember it always. 'Allah is always with us. When you start anything, you say, bismillah. When you are in doubt, you say, insha Allah.. When you are grateful, you say, Alhamdulilah. Thats what makes Muslims closer to our Creator.'

I consider myself a secrative person. Boleh laa.. my posts are not always about daily things or updates on my life..(only just recently) sometimes its more of a thought of what has happened or something that I would like to think or ponder upon. After trusting the wrong people, its hard for me to share things that are too personal. Some things are better left unsaid. I don't blame them. I blame myself for being too naive and having the wrong judgment call. But there's always something that I can learn from the experience. From that experience, I believe that trust is something that must be gained. It is the total opposite from respect. A person will have my respect until he/she does something to lose it. Simple yet strong words. Trust and respect. Those are strong fundamentals in any relationship. Student - teacher, mother - daughter, father - mother, friend - friend, husband - wife.

I'd like to quote from Dr. FK, 'Allah turunkan musibah kerana Dia menyayangi kita. And tidak mahu kita berputus asa. Kerana di hujungnya, Allah akan menghadiahkan kita dengan nikmat dan rahmat' Cant remember the exact words but that's what he meant.

So maybe when you see someone living a good live and starting to have envious thoughts or comparing your live with them, think for awhile. What that person has gone through to be where he / she is now. The hardships, the sacrifices, the difficulties. They might not share it.. simply because perhaps it was too painful or personal.

I don't memorize versus and quote from them, I wish I could though. Perhaps my knowledge is like a tiny stone in the middle of the ocean. But I learned from experience, mine, and others.. All apologies if this post might have offended anyone. I am just another blogger, with thoughts coming in the middle of the night.

Just take things one step at a time, and everything will be ok cause I know He listens to every thoughts and prayers...

Having said all that, would you choose, water over wine to hold the wheel and drive.. (think really deep. the meaning)

*p/s : i wanted to make the post title 'all apologies' by nirvana but i thought 'water over wine' is wayy cooler, dont u think ?

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as promised..

>> Tuesday, April 14, 2009

As promised, here are some of the pictures of the International Students' Society Cultural Night held on 10th April 2009 at UNISEL Bestari Jaya.

It was fascinating and definitely a night to remember.. I enjoyed myself a whole lot and it really felt like being in a middle eastern country..


Having a Blast


This is what happens when two Yemen guys meet at Cultural Night

This is a Somalian Flag and some Somalian students


A really cute Sudanese Dance with a very funky song


Mathematicians and Statisticians with three Sudanese


me and my student Ayman. He is wearing a Jalabya and on his head is called Imama.. I am holding a sword used to kill people in wars. Hayul Al Jihad! Allahuakbar!


A candid picture of me wearing a Sudanese hat


me blending in with my beloved students

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hari ini dan esok

>> Thursday, April 09, 2009

Hari ini merupakan hari Khamis (duh~). Hari yang paling dinanti - nantikan terutamanya jam 4 petang di mana kelas akan berakhir untuk minggu itu. Hari ini pada awalnya bukanlah seperti hari hari biasa. Kerana hari ini House telah secara tiba - tiba mendecide untuk mengadakan mesyuarat so-called-tergempar seawal jam 9 pagi. Lazimnya, mesyuarat akan didrag sehingga ke beberapa jam diikuti dengan minum teh dan makanan separa ringan seperti karipap, mihun dan popia goreng. Tetapi hari mesyuarat agak straight to the point dan berakhir jam 1030 dan tiada makan atau minum.

Pada kelas 1030, aku dengan lemah longlainya melangkah ke kelas. Kumpulan kelas ini banyak menguji kesabaran aku. Pernah aku menegur seorang pelajar untuk membuka capnya. Lantas dia menjawab "habis tu, yang perempuan semua ni pakai tudung, suruh la diorg bukak tudung jugak". Di dalam hati aku membakar ketika itu dan ingin mengeluarkan kata - kata yang mungkin menjejaskan karier aku dengan berperasaan untuk membaling marker pen tepat pada dahinya untuk dia sedar betapa kurang ajarnya statement itu. Tapi aku hanya beristighfar dan merenungnya tajam sehinggakan dia tidak senang duduk. Aku memulangkan semula kertas Test 1, Test 2 dan Quiz 2 serta membincang skema jawapan. Jelas sekali mereka ini belum mengulangkaji walaupun Finals akan bermula minggu depan.

Langsai kelas, aku menghadap makanan yang disediakan oleh Mama sambil bergossip panas bersama Meg dan Chik. Lain sungguh hari ini kerana selalunya aku keseorangan. Setelah menunaikan solat Zohor dalam keadaan duduk (kerana sukar untuk sujud atas sebab - sebab kesihatan), aku bergegas ke kelas jam 2.00 petang. Hari ini adalah hari official aku menyelesaikan semua silibus untuk kesemua kelas. Lega rasanya. Tanggungjawab sudah dilaksanakan. Namun pada akhir kelas aku telah didampingi seorang pelajar berbangsa Cina, Adam Wong (bukan nama sebenar) yang pernah aku menyuruh dia berjumpa denganku atas sebab markah Test yang sangat rendah.

Adam : Maaf miss, bila yang miss free?
Saya : Esok the whole day saya free, u datang jumpa I esok.
Adam : Oo ok.. esok lepas prayers ke saya jumpa..
Saya : Lepas prayers ? U pergi sembahyang jumaat ke? (confuse sbb nama dia Wong)
Adam : Ye miss.
Saya : Oh? You're a Muslim ?
Adam : (senyum) Yes miss.
Saya : Ooo ok ok.. :)

Tidak dapat kugambarkan perasaan ini. Sungguh gembira rasanya. Alhamdulillah Adam Wong (bukan nama sebenar) diberi hidayah untuk memeluk agama Islam. Namun, dia pernah menceritakan dia menghadapi masalah keluarga yang adakalanya memberi kesan pada pembelajarannya. Aku hanya berdoa agar jalan untuk Adam Wong dibuka luas untuk dia berjaya dan segala usahanya diberkati, insyaAllah.

Selepas kelas berakhir, aku melepaskan nafas panjang kelegaan. Di bilik pula, aku cuba menyiapkan beberapa paperwork sehinggalah 2 pelajar antarabangsa datang menjenguk Ms.D. Mereka sudah biasa dengan budaya Melayu dan membuka kasut sebelum memasuki bilikku. Dengan senyum sipu2, salah seorangnya memberikan aku kad jemputan ke International Cultural Night yang akan berlangsung esok. Melihat pada kesungguhan dan kepersisan mereka mengajak aku beberapa kali sejak sebulan yang lalu, tidak sampai hati untuk menolak undangan itu.

Ms.D : InsyaAllah I will come. Is there a dress code?
Student 1 : You can wear anything.
Ms.D : Ok, can I wear jeans ?
Student 2 : No no.. cannot.. (bercakap Arab dengan student 1)
Student 1 : (menjawab dalam Bahasa Arab, bunyi mcm gaduh sedikit)
Ms.D : (looking left and right) So.. ?
Student 1 : You have to wear like this (jarinya menunjukkan pada baju kurungku). You look cantik wearing this. You have to wear like this.
Ms.D : (blushing tapi cover) Thank you. Ok ok I will try. InsyaAllah.

Dan esok malam, jam 830, aku akan menghadiri International Cultural Night di UNISEL Batang Berjuntai. Jemputlah datang, seriously. Pasti menarik :) Gambar akan dipaste di post seterusnya. Tunggu ya :)

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my plead

>> Saturday, April 04, 2009

Saya sakit. Pray for my health.. Ya Allah give me the strength

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my first of April

>> Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Hari ini menandakan bulan yang baru. Aku telah pun memflip kalender aku dan dia menyatakan APRIL 2009. Hari ini juga, kami staf - staf mendapat punch card baru. Lebih kurang 2 jam 15 minit yang lalu, aku telah mempurchase tiket ke Europe. Yes. Europe. InsyaAllah, aku akan ke Europe selama sebulan untuk bercuti :) Di mana? Mengapa dan dengan siapa ? Akan direveal satu hari. Sekarang ini, aku sedang menghitung hari. Dan apabila hari itu hampir tiba, pasti akan dikongsi, insyaAllah :)

Hari ini juga aku berperasaan gembira. Gembira kerana tanggungjawabku mencurahkan ilmu kepada pelajar - pelajar Tahun Asas yang terdiri daripada bangsa Melayu, Cina, India, Sudan dan Somalia sudah pun dilaksanakan. Gembira kerana mereka juga turut gembira selepas aku menyatakan, "That is all for Statistics. We have just finished our syllabus". Maka kedengaran mereka bertepuk tangan dan ber'high 5" tanda gembira kerana selepas ini hanyalah tinggal Tutorial, Quiz, Test dan Revision. Namun, hati ini bercampur dengan perasaan sedih. Sedih kerana kumpulan pelajar ini merupakan kumpulan pelajar yang paling unik yakni, multiracial dan international sepanjang kareerku (yang tidak sampai 2 tahun lagi) sebagai seorang Pensyarah. Semester ini aku mengenal erti sebenar teaching and learning. Aku mengajar mereka tentang Statistik. Mereka belajar tentang Statistik. Mereka mengajar aku tentang budaya Timur Tengah, aku belajar tentang budaya Timur Tengah.

Seorang pelajar yang sering meluangkan masa untuk berbual denganku menceritakan pengalamannya ketika mula - mula menapak ke KLIA.

"From the internet, I know that Malaysia is an Islamic country. But I thought that Malaysia is something like the US, very modern coz I saw from the pictures (gambar apa la yang ditengoknya) But when I first reached KLIA, I saw a Malay wearing the Hijab, it was very beautiful. Because I always see this in my country, and now, I am in another country, and there is also a Muslim wearing Hijab. It felt amazing. I see that Islam is everywhere. And when the first time I heard the Adzhan, MasyaAllah, I cried. Then the first time I wanted to call my dad, I waited for the Adzhan and said 'Dad, do you hear that? They also have Adzhan here.. It's amazing!' "

Entah mengapa, aku sungguh kagum mendengar cerita ini.

Walaubagaimanapun, di sudut hati ini, terdapat satu perasaan yang sukar digambarkan dengan gambar dan tidak dapat dicoretkan dengan tulisan. Yang pasti, aku yakin, Kuasa Allah itu adalah sangat besar. Paling besar. Dan setiap yang niat di hati, Dia-lah yang Maha Mengetahui.

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celebrating life and accepting death

>> Monday, March 23, 2009

On Saturday night, I had a deep and long talk with MSO. A lot of stuff. It had led us to one topic. Life. Celebrating life. Without realizing, I was talking about how thankful I am that I am able to just live. Live life. I wake up everyday feeling happy, alhamdulillah. I get to live for another day. Alhamdulillah for everything that I am blessed with. No matter how hard things might get, I believe Allah is with me. Everytime.

I woke up at 6 on a Sunday morning when my mother read the SMS on her handphone and said, "Achik manap dah meninggal.." My uncle who has been in ICU for a month in Taiping had just passed away.

It was somehow expected but unexpected. On Saturday my mother just updated me on his status. He was unconcious after his operation and after so long, yesterday, he finally was concious and was able to talk and greet people like normal but of course very weak after his operation.

It was also my nephew, Aman's 5th Birthday celebration. But unfortunately, we could not go since we had to drive up to Taiping to pay our last respect to my dear uncle. At 9, we stopped by at Bukit Subang and gave Aman's presents and hung out with him for awhile. After that, we drove to Taiping and finally reached there at 1.00 pm.

Taiping. I once said to Meg, I don't mind staying in Taiping. It's such a nice place to stay. My uncle's house was just nearby Tesco Taiping. I used to hang out at his place almost every fortnight while studying there. And I can eat nasi kosong at his house for one whole place because the nasi there is just nice. He would buy for me and my parents kuih like goreng pisang or ubi goreng for tea. And the water at his house is as cold as the water in the Bukit Larut waterfalls.

My late uncle is a penchant man. He raised 5 good sons and they inherited his talent in arts. They're all architect or at least doing something in that area. He would go to the mosque with his motorbike and reads Harakah and talk about politics with anyone that passes by. He was very friendly. And he and his wife would buy one meal and share the meal together. Which I think is very sweet for a 70+ year old couple.

My late uncle. The one who teases me every time he meets me. "Kamu ni duduk umah Wan Yong, disuruhnya masak sambal petai.. ye?" My late uncle. Who loved to talk with just anyone. My late uncle. The one who took good care of me when I was in Taiping. And welcomed us with such warmth everytime we hung out at his place.

We stayed for his funeral to give our last respect. That's the least we could do. Once again, I witnessed the beauty of Islam. Where everything has it's timing. Everything was done with such manner, such perfection, such symbolic. Islam teaches us to learn about death. And this experience was a real eye opener for me. We cry for the passing of a person. But we learn that life is short where it starts with Adzhan when we were first born, and ends with Solat right before we are sent back to the Al-Mighty Allah.

Al - Fatihah to my late uncle, arwah Abdul Manaf bin Abdul Aziz. A great man. Who shall be missed..

May you rest in peace.. and have Allah's blessings, insyaAllah.

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my reflection

>> Thursday, March 12, 2009

When I got out of work this morning, there was a full moon and it was beautiful. MasyaAllah. And right at this very moment, the night is still and quiet, and as the moon is giving light to earth, it had also brought me an inspiration to write this entry..

It was the birth of our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, Maulidul Rasul, (Peace be Upon Him) on the 12th Rabi'al-Awwal. As an Islamic country, we Malaysians celebrated it. For Malaysian, it would mean, another public holiday. Going back to hometown and facing jam. Waking up late and not going to work. Yes. I admit. That would be me. Except for going back to hometown since my home is my hometown :)

I have been asking myself, what is this emptiness inside of me ? Why am I so kalot and I have lost track of my time and time management is just.. out. I remember a talk I attended during the Holy month of Ramadhan. It sounded like this "Make time for Allah, and Allah will make time for you". Whoever who said that would not know how much I value those words.

Yes. Perhaps, I haven't been making enough time for Allah. Shamefully, I only pray for 5 minutes and honestly, it's hard to be khusyu' during prayers. 5 X 5. That's 25 minutes of 24 hours. Maybe, that's why I have been feeling empty lately...

I had a good chat with one of my students. He gave me MP3s of all the Surah in the Quran. And I ask him this,

Ms.D : So you can understand when you read the Quran ?
Stdnt : Yes, of course.
Ms.D : That's the perk of knowing how to speak Arabic. So you can read just like that ?
Stdnt : No. When we read, we don't just read. We also listen to others who read and follow. Because if we read differently, the meaning is also different. So we want to read properly and know the proper meaning.
Ms.D : (amazed) So you can read the Quran fast ? Can you finish in a day ?
Stdnt : Hehe... No.. Even if we sit and read from morning without any interruptions, the whole day can finish about... 3/4.
Ms.D : (masih amazed) Wow..
Stdnt : But during Ramadhan month, I read 3 juzu' in a day. So can finish the whole of Quran during the last 10 days of Ramadhan.
Ms.D : (amazed lagi)
Stdnt : You know Tahjud? During the last 10 days of Ramadhan ? When waiting for Tahjud prayers, we read the Quran.
Ms.D : (amazed tak terkata dan akhirnya berkata) You read the Quran everyday here?
Stdnt : Yes, yes.. everyday.. but not so much.. only 1 or 2 Surah a day. (smiling shyly) Sometimes half a Surah a day..
Ms.D : That's good practice. You know if you read the Quran always, you have sharp memory..
Stdnt : I must be doing something wrong cause my memory is not so sharp(laughing)

And the conversation went on for more than an hour. After he left, I felt so small. Malu dengan diri sendiri. There he was telling me that he reads the Quran everyday and not having a sharp memory.. I thought about myself.. How often do I recite the Quran ? During school days, yes. I was in boarding school and every Friday night (malam Jumaat) we recite the Surah Yassin. And perhaps, before Maghrib prayers, we recite other Surah. But how about now ?

I not only teach my students, but everyday I learn something new from them. For this, I want to share. As humans, we tend to forget. That's our nature. But it's always good to remind ourselves and others. InsyaAllah.

Say (O Muhammad ): "Verily, my Salat (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists).
Surah Al-An am. 162.

Can we ever be as genuine as this? Wallahu'alam.

Salam Maulidul Rasul.

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my friday night : Fantasia Bulan Madu

>> Saturday, March 07, 2009

Tenangnya di malam ini bertemankan bunyi cengkerik. Setelah pulang dari Giant menemani ibu membeli barang - barang keperluan harian, aku mendongak seketika ke angkasa. Indahnya ciptaan Allah. Malam dijadikan untuk berehat dan tidur. Maka malam itu sunyi dan sepi bertemankan cahaya bulan yang menerangi bumi ditemani bintang - bintang yang menghiasi langit.

Teringkat kembali pada zaman persekolahan ketika menghadiri aktiviti 'stargazing at night' oleh kelab pencipta alam. Memang aku cintakan alam. Sungguh terpegun apabila dapat melihat retak di permukaan bulan yang ada disebut di dalam Al - Quran membuktikan kekuasaan Allah. Lagi indah apabila dapat melihat planet Saturn dan ringnya serta 4 daripada 7 bulan di orbit yang mengelilinginya. Sememangnya indah dan menakjubkan. Semua ini dapat kulihat dengan bantuan telescope berkuasa tinggi yang mengikuti orbit bulan yang mana di waktu siang hari, telescope itu akan terbalik.

Pengalaman yang paling tidak dapat ku lupakan adalah pada tahun 1998 di Taiping, aku bersama rakan - rakan turun ke bawah dorm seawal jam 2 pagi kerana ingin menyaksikan fenomena Meteor Shower itu. Kami tunggu hampir dua jam dan aku dapat melihat 13 meteor berterbangan di langit bagaikan satu mimpi. Tidak pernah ku lihat langit yang kosong dan gelap menjadi terang dihiasi bebola oren kekuning - kuningan bergerak begitu pantas dan hilang bagaikan magic. Aku mengira berapa jumlah meteor yang dapat kulihat. Dan sememangnya 13 is my lucky number. Fenomena ini tersemat di hati dan di mindaku dan mungkin inilah pengalaman yang paling bermakna bagiku. Kiranya ada soalan, "What is the most unforgettable phenomena that you've experienced in your life?" mungkin itulah jawapannya. Dan pengalaman ini mungkin akan ku ceritakan suatu hari pada anak - anak serta cucu - cucu ku insyaAllah. At least I have something cool to tell them.

Di malam itu, sungguh tenang. Dan di kawasan perumahanku di Kampung Tunku juga tenang. Dan dalam ketenangan itu, aku tertidur lena setelah berbual dengan MSO. Masing - masing kepenatan kerana sepanjang minggu dibebani kerja yang banyak. Namun demikian, kami cukup passionate dengan kerja kami. MSO sering menceritakan keseronokannya di pejabat apabila mendapat projek baru. MSO seorang yang sukakan benda baru dan setiap hari mempelajari ilmu baru. Diriku pula sering menceritakan gelagat pelajar - pelajar serta apa yang diajar dan belajar daripada pengalaman bersama orang yang berbeza. Begitulah kami. Dua dunia yang cukup berbeza.

Walaupun dunia kami yang berbeza, apabila kulihat langit, dia juga melihat langit yang sama. Bulan yang menemani diriku di malam hari, bulan yang sama juga menemaninya di malam hari. Ada kalanya, ku terfikir. Adakah di saat ku lihat bulan, mungkin dia melihat bulan jua ? Adakah tenangan yang ku alami dengan melihat bulan itu, dapat dirasainya jua ?

Begitulah pengalaman Friday night aku kali ini. Sememangnya diri ini kepenatan namun masih bertahan kerana semangat di dalam diri ini cukup kuat untuk meneruskan kerja - kerja harian. Ku harapkan, Friday nights yang lain akan setenang ini dan mungkin, suatu hari, aku dan MSO akan berada bersebelahan menyaksikan bulan dan bintang bersama sama. Atau kiranya ada rezeki, dapat melihat semula fenomena Meteor Shower bersama - samanya, InsyaAllah.

Disertakan lagu ol skool rock, Fantasia Bulan Madu, my favourite Search song. Liriknya sungguh indah dan bermakna.

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my new hijab

>> Friday, March 06, 2009

I love red. I just bought this new hijab which has a great combination of Black and dark Red. From Syria (katanya). It's RM 16. So I bought two. The other one is dark green and a bit of cream.

This hijab is the ones yang masuk satu yang kecik and the other one outside. Why I like this ? Because I don't have to iron it and it's great for those who are lazy to gosok tudung (just like me) hehe.

No ironing.
No pins.
No hassle.

But its hard to find nice ones. I saw a few in KL Sentral but the designs are too plain and the colors are dull. For people who have my skin color (coklat -> ke arah gelap) sesuai pakai dark colors so that you look garang.

Cikgu nampak garang lah.

If you wanna go for a fancier look, wear a pin by the side as accessories.

[Photo Has Been Deleted]

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sekali lagi..

>> Thursday, March 05, 2009

Once again, I cried in front of my laptop. Saudara Fajar's blog has touched me so deeply that I wish I could visit his son. I don't know why. I have never met these people, they live continents apart, we could be related (bau bau bacang), neighbours or schoolmates or probably pernah jumpa tepi jalan but I can really relate to his story. I have been following baby Amir Yusuf's condition for almost 3 months now.

Reading his entry today made me realize that how everybody has their own parts. or in BM, bahagian masing - masing. Allah tidak akan berikan seseorang itu sesuatu ujian kalau dia tidak dapat menghadapinya. Baby Amir Yusuf, saudara Fajar and family are strong people to be handling this. Allah believes that they can get through this. And baby Amir Yusuf is lucky to have them as parents.

And suddenly.. teringatkan my nephew arwah Rafiq..

We miss you Rafiq..

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my forwarded email : Allah hanya memanggil Kita 3 kali saja seumur Hidup.

>> Thursday, February 26, 2009

I got this in my email.. and it hit me.. just thought of sharing with all of you...

Allah hanya memanggil Kita 3 kali saja seumur Hidup.

Renung-renungkan Dan selamat beramal..

Saat itu, Dhuha, Hari terakhir aku di Masjid Nabawi untuk menuju Makah....... , aku bertanya pada
Ibu, Ibu adalah pemilik Maknah Tour Travel dimana saya bergabung untuk Umrah Di Bulan July 2007 yang lalu.

'Ibu, kataku, Ada cerita apa yang Menarik dari Umrah....? ( Maklum, ini pertama kali aku ber Umrah). Dan Ibu,
Memberikan Tausyiahnya.

Kebetulan umrahku dimulai di Madinah selama 4 Hari, baru ke Makah.
Tujuannya adalah mendapatkan saat Malam Jumat di depan Kabah.

Ibu berkata...' , * Allah hanya memanggil Kita 3 kali saja Seumur hidup*

Keningku berkerut.... ....'Sedikit sekali Allah memanggil Kita..?'

Ibu tersenyum. 'Iya, tahu tidak apa saja 3 panggilan Itu..?'
Saya menggelengkan kepala.

'Panggilan pertama adalah* **Azan*', ujar Ibu.

'Itu adalah panggilan Allah yang pertama. Panggilan ini sangat jelas Terdengar di telinga Kita, sangat kuat
Terdengar. Ketika Kita sholat, sesungguhnya Kita menjawab panggilan Allah.
Tetapi Allah masih fleksibel, Dia tidak 'cepat marah' akan sikap Kita. Kadang Kita terlambat, bahkan tidak sholat sama sekali karena malas. Allah tidak marah seketika. Dia masih memberikan rahmatNya, masih memberikan
Kebahagiaan bagi umatNya, baik umatNya itu menjawab panggilan Azan-Nya atau Tidak. Allah hanya akan membalas umatNya ketika Hari Kiamat nanti'.

Saya Terpekur.... .Mata saya berkaca-kaca. Terbayang saya masih melambatkan sholat Kerana meeting lah, mengajar lah, Dan lain lain. Masya Allah.......

Ibu Melanjutkan,Panggilan yang kedua adalah Panggilan* Umrah/Haji*

Panggilan ini bersifat halus. Allah Memanggil hamba-hambaNya dengan Panggilan yang halus Dan sifatnya 'bergiliran' ..
Hamba yang satu mendapatkan Kesempatan yang berbeda dengan Hamba yang lain. Jalan nya bermacam-macam. Yang tidak punya uang Menjadi punya uang, yang tidak merencanakan, ternyata akan pergi, Ada Yang memang merencanakan Dan terkabul.
Ketika Kita mengambil niat Haji / Umrah, berpakaian Ihram Dan melafazkan 'Labaik Allahuma Labaik/ Umrotan',
Sesungguhnya Kita saat itu menjawab panggilan Allah yang Ke dua.

Saat itu Kita merasa bahagia, karena panggilan Allah sudah Kita jawab, meskipun panggilan itu halus sekali..

Allah berkata, Laksanakan Haji / Umrah bagi yang mampu'.

Mata saya semakin Berkaca-kaca. ........Subhanal lah....... .saya datang Menjawab panggilan

Allah lebih cepat dari yang saya rancangkan.. ...Alhamdulill ah...

'Dan Panggilan ke-3', lanjut Ibu, 'adalah* KEMATIAN*.

Panggilan yang Kita jawab dengan amal Kita. Pada kebanyakan kasus, Allah tidak Memberikan tanda tanda secara langsung, Dan Kita tidak mampu menjawab Dengan lisan Dan Gerakan. Kita hanya menjawabnya dengan amal sholeh. Karena Itu , Manfaatkan waktumu sebaik-baiknya. ..Jawablah 3 panggilan Allah Dengan Hatimu Dan sikap yang Husnul Khotimah.... .......Insya Allah Syurga adalah Balasannya.. ...'

** Mata saya basah di dalam Masjid Nabawi , saya sujud bertaubat pada Allah Karena kelalaian saya
Dalam menjawab panggilanNya. ....Kala itu hati saya makin yakin akan KebesaranNya, kasih sayangNya Dan dengan semangat menyala-nyala, saya mengenakan Baju Ihram Dan berniat..... ....Aku menjawab panggilan UmrahMu, ya Allah, Tuhan Semesta Alam........ **

*Huraisy*

*Pada Hari Kiamat akan keluar seekor binatang dari neraka jahanam yang Bernama 'Huraisy'
Berasal dari anak kala jengking. Besarnya Huraisy ini Dari timur hingga ke Barat. Panjangnya pula seperti jarak langit Dan bumi.

Malaikat Jibril bertanya : 'Hai Huraisy! Engkau hendak ke mana Dan siapaYang kau Cari?'
Huraisy pun menjawab, 'Aku mau mencari lima Orang.'

Pertama, orang yang meninggalkan sholatKedua, orang yang Tidak mahu keluarkan zakat.
Ketiga, orang yang durhaka kepada ibu Dan Bapaknya. Keempat, orang yang bercakap tentang dunia di dalam
Masjid. Kelima, orang yang suka minum arak.'*


Sampaikan pesanan ini
Biarpn 1 ayat.. Wallahualam*

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my conclusion for confusion

>> Tuesday, January 13, 2009

MSO was not feeling well today. After coming back from work, I was online and cooked for abit , made kek batik for the 2nd time (ok, i admit it. the first time punya x jadi. I forgot to put in 1 important item), prepared dinner and basuh pinggan and borak wif MSO.

The usual updating about current events which are abit of a froth. And then I realized something I should do to myself. Perhaps, I should be more KENTAL. The earlier conversation with ShazZain kinda hit me when she said, "sebab ko kadang2 blur benda2 mcmni", which we both agreed is better that overanalyzing things, rite ShazZain?

See, I sometimes can't see or can't read between the lines and get frustrated when the lines are clearly outlined (i do get lost in translation.. I mean, literally.. seriously..). But now, I decided not to weigh it too much over my head and just let it be.. Since I have enough weighing to do with alot of things coming up ahead..cause perhaps.. it Allah's way to protect me :)

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other than life with family, work and most of the time with the internet, my life is with tv now

>> Friday, December 12, 2008

I am more of an internet person. I can live without tv and radio. But internet.. uiyoo susah woo (tak caya tanya Mega).

But lately I have become more of a tv person. Perhaps, when night time comes, I find it more relaxing to just lay on my bed covered with my blanket while watching tv with the remote control in my hand. Usually, the routine would start at 9.

MONDAYS

900pm : My Wife and Kids (711)
930pm : 8 Simple Rule (711)
1000pm : House (701)
1100pm : Chuck (701) ni kalau mata tak tutup lagi la

TUESDAYS

900pm : 90210 (711)
1000pm : Grey's Anatomy (711)
1100pm : One Tree Hill (708)

WEDNESDAYS

930pm : Field Trip USA (708)
1000pm : PopCorn Wednesday (708)

THURSDAYS

900pm : Reaper (711)

FRIDAYS

1030pm : Movies (103)

But on Fridays if ada kesempatan, I like to was Assalam USA on TV3 at 7pm. Its a documentary produced by Norzie Pak Wan Chek and Aidid Marcello about how our Muslim brothers and sisters in America. Today was a very interesting topic where they discussed about ALIM (American Learning Institute for Muslims). Its intriguing to know that in the Western countries, the ukhwah among Muslims are strong, probably stronger than us Muslims in Malaysia since they consist of a small society which makes their bonds closer. What amazed me was during the clips at the end of the documentary, they showed the Muslims from many walks of life, races held up their hands and doa. African-American Muslims, American Muslims, Arabic Muslims, Spanish Muslims and I thought wow.. Islam is so universal and yet diversed in terms of race and location however our mission is the same; to be faithful to the Mighty Allah SWT and the Prophet Muhammad SAW. The half an hour show, Assalam USA won against all the shows I watched thoughout the week.

I saw that Islam is beautiful.

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There's Gotta Be More To Life

>> Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I'm listening to Stacie Orrico's voice singing "there's gotta be more to life..than chasing down every temporary high.. to satisfy me... " on Hitz. (Rudy and JJ dah split btw and it's JJ and Ean now.. )

I think what Stacie is going through is what most people are going through also.. always wanting more in life.. which is good.. it makes you strive harder for your future.. but there is one part of life that makes it balanced is being content with your state.. of course Islam encourages us to work hard to succeed in life and also being wasatiah in leading our lives.

I have a confession. Although I have a good steady job with a fairly ok-pay, alhamdulillah.. but do you ever feel that sometimes, something is missing.. ?

Perhaps I haven't been sincere to myself during work.. Perhaps I haven't been praying hard enough.. (lps smbhyg je doa sket and terus lipat sejadah cepat2).. Perhaps I should be doing something but I didn't and that's why I feel this emptiness.. Bukan empty apa .. just.. empty... Yes, there's gotta be more to life.. Perhaps time is a factor.. I'm always chasing time.. Always thinking about time.. the past, the present, the future.. is there enough time? Will there be time? I need more time.. And ironically though, the time spent thinking about 'time' itself has already been occupied when I could use the time to execute my actions.

I realized this during one of the talks I attended during Ramadhan. Someone said, "Luangkan sedikit masa untuk Allah, dan Allah akan meluangkan masa untuk kita.. " I watched the crowd when this person was saying this to the public.. some listened attentively, some were dozing off.. and I thought wow.. what this person just said was a big hit to me.. it hit me hard.. if i could spend an hour to watch House and another hour to watch Chuck on AXN, and I only spend 5 X 5 = 25 minutes for prayers ? or maybe less.. I feel ashamed of myself..

Kenapa tiba2 mcm Islamic dan sangat alim Dora ? I don't know.. I am not being poyo or what.. I am not that ustazah telling you what to do or what not to do.. I guess I am going through a self-realization moment.. I guess I want to share it here kot.. I might forget later on.. today, tomorrow, next week or next year.. I hope when that happens, Allah will give me a message or a sign so that I remember.. The korban event was a real eye opener to me...

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Eid Ul Adha

Apakah ertinya Pengorbanan ?

Yesterday I watched korban for the first time at my housing area masjid.. It was indeed an experience I will never forget. I brought my two nephews, Ashraf and Farhan to witness korban. And Farhan just hugged my kaki while peeping by the side the whole time, really cute.. and when he saw it on the news about korban, he goes "lembu!lembu!".. smart baby..

What I wanna share is that I feel how shallow my knowledge is about Islam and its histories. I forgot about the korban story and I had to ask my mom to understand the true message conveyed through this whole event.. I also did some search through the internet and I just found out that there are some fatwa saying that korban is wajib for people who mampu.. And I pity myself. I felt pity because here I am spending my $ for myself and I didn't even do korban. Of course I wanted to but at the very last minute, tak sempat. I hope if ada rezeki yang cukup dan umur yang panjang, I would like to do korban one day.. insyaAllah..

Watching people at the masjid gotong royong potong2 daging and helping each other made me realize how strong the ukhwah is among the Muslim society in Kg Tunku. The smile on everybody's faces, how they willingly helped without the hopes of any balasan, but because of keikhlasan.. I felt sorry for myself for not witnessing this is the past Aidiladha before.. I kept on thinking about my own sellfish life, my own schedule, and how I am soo busy to go to the mosque to witness korban but how I can make time to go to Midvalley or The Curve and how I forgot that Aidiladha is a meaningful event, not just a public holiday and staying at home to enjoy another day not going to work. Aidiladha is more than that.. It is pengorbanan seseorang tanpa mengharapkan balasan, korban kerana ikhlas, korban kerana Allah swt... I pity myself.. for I have been oblivion about the beauty of Islam..

So what is the true meaning of korban for you ? Salam Aidiladha to all Muslims around the world.. May this korban be a meaningful event to you as it was to me... :)

Will post some pictures soon..

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