mona lisa

I read this and it amazed me. ada pulak orang nak balik cawan teh kat mona lisa.

Today was the first meeting with the new students. And the usual introduction session was held. And that was the first time I heard myself saying it out loud.

"My name is Madam D... J. I am a statistics lecturer"

Wow.

The new semester will be commencing next week. I feel so karat now. It's been three months of no teaching. I'm not sure if I can write properly on the white board. And of course, the first class for every group. At least I'm certain that I am lefthanded... or am i ? heheh kidding.

I have been assigned only to teach Degree students for the July semester (yeay! woohooo!!) and September's Foundation which will start after raya. So, bz bz bz. Good la. Cause I wanna keep myself busy so that time will pass by quickly and suddenly it will be the end of 2009 :)

This semester's mode : serious and no play play. watch out students. ha ha ha.

This morning I reached the office and got this offline msg

Ikhwan:: Dora :: (8/12/2009 3:35:54 AM): hi bb.. i love u so much...sleep tight and have sweet dreams k.. missing u my wife ;)

And it's still on my desktop's icon.........

ich vermisse dich bb :)

Read more...

shiver

I was driving to work today and put on ROCK BAND CD compiled by my husband. It keeps me awake in the morning and also get the momentum going. So I was listening to Chris Martin singing shiver and I thought, ape lagu ni ? I think if anyone else singing it, it would be sooo damn sumbang. Do you notice the rhythm ??? but somehow Chris and all the coldplay band members did a great job in making the song quite a hit (sampai boleh masuk Rock Band tuuuu)

The weekend went by nak kata cepat pun tak, nak kata lambat pun tak. It went by like it was supposed to go by. I spent the Saturday hanging out at home, studying and cleaning up my room. And on Sunday I woke up supermorning (for a sunday morning) and headed out to The Curve (sepatutnya nak beli kasut and singgah Habib Jewel) but I ended up at Ikea queing up to pay things that I planned to buy later on, but since it was on sale of I swiped up the old card ;) hehehe

After the unexpected shopping spree, I did like other long distance marriage daughter in law would do. Visit the in laws. I had ayam percik sedap jugak cooked by my brother in law and hung out for awhile.

After that I hung out with my family and then chatted with Ikhwan. I told him my upcoming project and he gave me some ideas (brilliant ones actually) and I am now in the midst of starting it. So there will be less posts in here till the end of the year. But since Ikhwan enjoys reading my blog (ye ke b? ;) ) hehehe I will update once in a while.. Maybe the both of us will be occupied working on our new project jugak.. he will be assisting me la of course ;)

What project ? u might be thinking... well.. time will tell ;)

[me like me mystery]

Tschussssss! :)

Read more...

on the radio

Today's topic on mix.fm was "can a friendship turn into a relationship or marriage?"

I soo wanted to call them but I was driving to work nanti excited sangat bercerita tak concentrate on driving lak. Which is very dangerous and irresponsible.

So here's my story (bare with me ok, I am 11,000kms apart from my husband).
When we were 16 - 17 years old, I knew that Ikhwan existed (cause he was budak KL) and he knew that I existed (katanya ada perempuan nama Dora, cool name. Dia yang ckp ok.. hehehe). Perhaps we might berselisih at the classroom corridor without realizing that one day we will be married. In 1999, we became cyber friends and always chat (zaman zaman IRC.. kelakar tol hehehe). He would passionately tell me that he hates Siti Nurhaliza hehehe. And somewhere along the conversation, I felt that hey we connected. And everytime he was online, he would chat with me. We hung out a few times with other friends and once I did a birthday party and he came over to my house. Of course we did not talk much. And that was it.

A few years later, Ikhwan msged me on friendster . Hi. It's me Ikhwan. Remember me? We used to chat a lot after SPM. I was surprised that he remembered me and thought, 'lame dah tak contact mamat tu eh. dah kat German dah dia.' I checked out his profile and I couldn't recognize him cause he looked so different. That was it.

Suddenly in August 2005, he msged me again asking me if we can hang out for coffee. And I said ok. So for almost 7 years, finally we meet. And from just a friend, we developed a beautiful friendship that blossomed to a relationship and now we are married :)

Being a couple
It was not easy, sometimes internet is just not enough. We would call each other and talk for hours and scream everytime we look at the bill. The 6 sometimes 7 hours difference allowed us only to talk on odd hours since both of us were studying at that time. When we both started working, was a more challenging time but we managed to get through it.

How he proposed
On 10/08/08, we were driving to The Curve after a kenduri at his house. And before reaching the LDP toll, he finally proposed :) a place and time that I never expected at all. hehehehe

Engagement
We had a simple engagement on 16/08/09 (nisfu sya'aban), since we wanted to save $ for the wedding. Just his parents and my family. And a ring sebagai tanda chup. hehehe. I wore blue :)

Preparation for wedding
Since Ikhwan was in Germany after the engagement and till 3 weeks before the wedding, I was the designated shopper for both of the hantarans (which I loved to do) hehehe.

Akad Nikah
Alhamdulillah on 13/6/09 (no significant meaning to the date, just that was the only date that was available for both of us since we are both working) at 11.04, he lafazed his akad with just one lafaz :)

Reception
Reception was held at Dewan Felda Merak Kayangan and a week after was at Dewan Beringin Seri Gombak.

Honeymoon
We went to Krabi Island and had a nice relaxed time. And I took a semester off to follow him to Germany. We also went to Paris for his birthday and had a great time :)

Back to reality
We are continents apart but I think of him every second of everyday. Any ways possible to get in touch, we will find it. Since both of us sedang mencari rezeki, so we just have to be patient for now and pray hard that Allah will give us strength for these few months.

Plans for the future
Yes, to answer all your questions, I will go there to be with him. Just counting days. And of course, I would want my family to come and visit us :)

So to answer mix.fm's question, yes, a friendship really can blossom to a beautiful relationship.. and if you're lucky, sometimes marriage :)

ich liebe dich von ganzem Herzen, meine Mann Ikhwan

oh yes, at 12:34:56 today will be 12:34:56 7/8/9. A historical time :)

Read more...

kerja HR

I was in Shah Alam on Friday. I had to jaga a booth for the ICE Exhibition. Since the HR people weren't around (actually exhibition ni utk nak recruit people, so HR yang patut ada), I took over, asking questions, checking CVs.. takpe la.. something i'm quite familiar with when I was in HR last time.

A girl who looked very familiar came with his brother. Muka dia penuh dengan harapan and she filled up the form and asking me questions sambil borak2. All the while I was thinking, 'mana laa penah nampak dia? she looks soo familiar..'

girl : Dah lama ke dengan uni---? (notice that she didn't use any kata ganti nama)
me : yeah, tomorrow dah 2 tahun la kire nye :)
girl : wow.. lame gak ye.. lepas grad terus keje sini ke?
me : bole dikatakan la.. about one month after that, dpt keje sini.. rezeki..
girl : (smiling) oo ok.. sini nak jadi lecturer kena ada masters ke ?
me : yeah
girl : that means u dah ada masters ?
me : (angguk)
girl : oo ok.. lps degree u terus sambung ke?
me : (banyak pulak tanya minah ni) tak, after degree i worked for 2 years after that baru i smbung blajar. this is my 3rd job.
girl : (pandang atas, mcm tgh kire kire tp masih muka confused) ooo ok.. omg, mudanya dah ada masters.. bestnyer.. mcm i ni dah tua tua baru la nak smbung belajar.. hehehe
me : (smiling)
girl : r u married?
me : yeah last month (showing the ring and the inai)
girl : ye ke.. congratss... muda muda lagi dah kawin... (smiling)
me : (confused. how old does she think i am??) thanks :)


after she finished filling up the forms and submitting her CV, I saw the year she was born. 1983.
still confused. not complaining though :) i kinda like it.

my dear husband once said to me while we were walking to Netto, a grocery store nearby. we always kid around and make silly (sometimes lame) jokes on the way.
'kalau orang sini tgk u, mesti dia igt u budak kecik kan? mesti dia tak sangka u dah tua sbnrnya. hehehe :p'

ha'ah la b :)

i miss. i miss. i miss him. a lot.

Read more...

that is not a predicament

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
not in the mood to socialize. right now, nope.

sorry.

Read more...

you can't have it all... or can you ?

Aller Anfang ish schwer. Everything's hard at first.

I am actively learning German with discipline and consistency. I am more focused now since I have a certain target and goals to achieve. It's like not aiming only at the tiang gol, but exactly at the tayar bersangkut pada tiang gol tu, like Beckham does his football training. And to me, those goals are abit personal. Yeah yeah, i like to share. but not in detail. i don't want just anybody to know what's exactly happening to my life. i update this blog cause i like writing and i know people would be like hey wats up ye dgn djdorrr? jom baca blog dia kejap. then if i bagi sikit, there would be a reason to call / contact me if anyone of my friends would like to know the details ;) smart rite ? smart i am yes.

Ikhwan n I have been online a lot since this whole week. Like I mentioned above, everything is hard at first. that's why we keep ourselves busy so that time would pass by quickly.. so that when i go to work, i would look forward for lunch time.. and when i'm about to sleep, i would study my German before staring at my phone waiting for his call immediately he comes out of office. and i know that he plays rock band a lot so that when i am there again, he will be an expert at his guitar.. and drums! (cabaran ni b hehe). of course the singing job is left for me. hehe.

I have been receiving numerous comments on facebook regarding my wedding and my trip. Thanks people :) Yes, I am lucky n thankful that I got the opportunity to spend a month with my husband in a foreign land, an experience that I will never forget. Wenn einer eine Reise macht, so kann er 'was erza:hlen.

Ikhwan has been great. He has be patient with me by asking me to be patient... the wedding, the trip.. the everything.. for everything has its time.. and the time has always been perfect.. cause God made it that way.. and again he never fails to tell me to be patient.. again.. and everytime that he does, i will be.. because somehow i know that with patience, the wait is gonna be worth it.. just like how i've been patient all this while..

Alhamdulillah I have a great guy as my husband. I have my reasons why I say that. He's my husband, my soulmate, my bestfriend, my time keeper, he makes me happy, he is everything that i could ever wish for and more.. only that he is 11,000 kms away.. and i cant have him next to me anytime i want to..

but in one of our talks, i realized that this is how it was meant to be for us. this is his sacrifice for a better future. yes, it's hard for me. but it's harder for him. and for that, i realized that i need to be strong for him. i need to give him all the support that he needs. and that is what i will do from now on.. :) i am getting stronger everyday and learning to accept the fact that its only temporary.. and that we will be united again soon insha allah :)

There are reasons why we got hitched when we got hitched. don't question; why now? why here n there? why this n why that?.... we know why. that's all that matters. Though I cant have him next to me. But he is always in my heart, in my mind. and i know that i am too in his heart and in his mind. Everything that I do, he is with me. and i can hear his jokes in my mind and laugh alone when i think of it.. (ikhwan is actually very funny)..

I am not complaining. I am accepting the fact and looking forward for the future.. cause for now, that is what we are holding on to.. the future.. perhaps one day, we can have it all..

God willing

Read more...

effing net

when ur life revolves around the internet,
when ur other half is on the other side of the world,
when the connection is effed up,
you're kinda effed up as well.

nicht sehr gut. nicht sehr gut. Scheiße!

oh no.. too much weeds..

Read more...

after eight

When I reached home on Saturday morning, the first thing that my brother took from my luggage were chocolates. He saw after eight and immediately opened it. 'eh coklat tu slalunya makan lepas dinner la..' my dad said.. and i asked him, 'nape?' and he answered, 'cause its after eight' hehehe i find it amusing.. perhaps it is true.

I kept on listening to ich bereue nichts and Tokio Hotel's Monsoon..remembering my husband at every second. I was soo $£%*ed up in the morning cause the internet was down but only was ok again at around 1215. see, in our relationship, we only have 30 minutes of chat time (for now) and if i have 1030 - 1230 class, that would mean, we only can talk for 2 - 5 minutes on the phone at night, provided i dont sleep early or he comes home from work early.

my jet lag is not so bad today, although i slept at maybe 3am and woke up at 6am. it was very hard for me to wake up since i had headache plus with the rain made me hit the snooze button a couple of times. right now, i am on the bed. with my little laptop and one eye half closed, trying so hard to open them..


but everytime i close both eyes, in my mind, i will recall the time when me n ikhwan n some of his friends were watching transformers and he caught me almost falling asleep.

ikhwan : 'haa tido ke ?'
dora : 'takde lah.. tutup mata je'

now b, i tak tido.. i tutup mata je tau.....

Read more...

ich bereue nichts

i listen to this everyday.. its my favourite song from my favourite German band..




German
Ich bereue nichts

Ich halte deine Hand, so lange wie ich kann
Und trete die letzte Runde an

Wir haben’s beide gewusst und doch verdrängt bis zum Schluss
Dass man die Zeit nicht besiegen kann

Vielleicht wäre es besser, es wär so nie passiert
Doch vielleicht ist so ein feiges Wort

Wir haben immer gekämpft und kein Sandkorn verschenkt
Und jetzt stehn wir hier

Und ich bereue nichts
Nicht einen Schritt, nicht einen Augenblick davon
Auch wenn es verloren ist
Auch wenn es für uns nicht reicht
Es war doch nichts umsonst
Bereue nichts davon
Nichts davon

Die Zeit läuft gegen uns, das letzte Korn fällt stumm
Und langsam ist die Runde um

Wir haben auf Sand aufgebaut, das hat uns viel Kraft gebraucht
Doch alles davon, war es mir wert
Und ich dank dir für jeden Tag bei dir

Denn ich bereue nichts
Nicht einen Schritt, nicht einen Augenblick davon
Auch wenn es verloren ist
Auch wenn es für uns nicht reicht
Es war doch nichts umsonst
Nicht umsonst

Ich bereue nicht ein falsches Wort, nicht einen Augenblick
Ich nehme keine Schritt zurück
Denn ich bereue nichts
Ich bereue nichts
Ich bereue nichts
Nichts davon
Ich bereue nichts

****************************************************************

English
I regret nothing

I hold your hand as long as I can
And start the last lap

We both knew and still repressed it till the end
That time cannot be beaten

Maybe it would better if it never happend this way
But maybe is such a cowardly word

We have fighted and not given away any grain of sand
And now we stand here

And I regret nothing
Not a step, not a moment of it
Even when it's lost
Even when it's not enough for us
It still wasn't for nothing
Regret nothing of it
Nothing of it

Time runs against us, the last grain falls silently
And the lap is slowly over

We have build on sand which took us a lot of strength
But it was worth every effort
And I thank you for every day with you

Read more...

what Adrian said hit me

I'm back in KL. Part of me is happy to be home surrounded by my family but a huge part of me is back in Mannheim, Deutchland. During our trip to Paris (which I have yet to blog about), we met a Canadian guy, Adrian and now keeping in touch. He said and I quote, It's kind of weird to be home. Back to reality can be strange. But that's life. It kinda hit me hard.

I couldn't agree more. The first thing I did when I landed at KLIA was switched on my hp only to find that my Maxis has been barred, so I used Ikhwan's prepaid to call him. Traveling alone for 11,000 km was something new to me. I am just getting used to the airport procedures, since my trip to Singapore and Krabi recently. Jarang jarang la naik kapal terbang ni.. I used to travel a lot with my family back in the 90s. But I was like what.. 10 ? All I could think about was chocolates and keychains and souvenirs from foreign land. I couldn't be bothered where my passport was, or if I had enough cash in case of emergency.. and laptops and handphones ? what are those ???

My dear loving husband waited till I passed the imigration and waved at me with a half hearted smile on his face. We both knew that this is gonna be the longest 6 months ever before we said our goodbyes with almost felt like neverending hugs and kisses. Tears were falling from both of my eyes from Frankfurt Airport all the way to Calcutta, India I think. The German guy who sat next to me glanced at me a few times but I couldnt care any less. Of course I took all my meals, even with the peanuts. Malaysia Airlines is a lot better since the 90s. But travelling alone, especially when u just got married, after having a very long honeymoon and a taste of life together, the wait to hear his voice again felt like forever. It was the longest 12 hours.

Going to the loo was a big challenge since I was sitting next to the window, I had to wait for the German guy to wake up before asking him if I could pass through. And yeah, I had my laptop in the handluggage but Ikhwan said, tawakal je lah. And so I did just that. Alhamdulillah everything went well, the flight to KL was smooth, not much turbulance as it was going to Frankfurt. However, it felt safe having Ikhwan next to me even with the turbulance going on.

So here I am, on my desk in my room with my table lamp and notes and laptop. wishing that Ikhwan was here or I was there with him.

That's life. leider nicht sehr gut, for now. perhaps a better tomorrow and days after. counting days.. counting days..

Read more...