A tale of Two Stars : PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

Laila sat by the window as she watched slowly day turned into night. The sky changing colour from light blue into light red as the sun sets gradually in the west, picturing a spectacular view. It was the most waited time of the day, night time. She was born on a quiet peaceful night. Her parents named her Laila, meaning 'night' in Arabic.

And as the day turn into night, the Bilal recited Azan, the Muslim call for prayers, Maghrib time. Laila closed her eyes as listened carefully 'Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar', always a reminder to her, Allah is Great, Allah is Great. 

Her father slowly opened the door to her room slightly ajar to witness her 10 year old daughter with her night dress and two pony tails standing on chair placed by the window. He smiled and said, 'Laila, take your wudhu' and we can Solat together' 

'Ok daddy' she jumped from the chair and obiediently followed her father's instructions. 

They prayed Maghrib together as a family and later had dinner which her mother had prepared. During dinner, they would usually talk about what their plans for the rest of the week. It was Sunday and Laila had school the next day but the only thing she could think about was that particular night, the night that she had read about and waited for since a long time. It was the night of the meteor shower. And she had only read about it in papers and books and watched videos but that night, she was going to witness it. And she did. And since that moment on, she fell in love with the mysteries of the skies and universe. 

  

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zSHARE - London Trip Video.wmv

zSHARE - London Trip Video.wmv

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my nur kasih obsession

I am not well. catching flu and trying to get it out of my system. what i have on my mind right now? is yassin's song, nur kasih. i listened to it through youtube berkali kali today. since i dont have the mp3.


the song starts with a cymbal and a few strings of some sort of tabla/ guitar and a seruling and a voice of a man.. comes a few strikes of piano notes followed by yassin's voice singing.. the song is very rich with sounds.. and a gentle pause between versus of "nur kasih" allows the person listening to the song to be in it to feel and comprehend the message. as the song's tempo is in crescendo mode, the strings of violin gives a deep impact that makes it alive.

best pula lagu nur kasih ni , why now baru minat?

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my dislike button

my last post was filled with emotions that i cannot comprehend till now.anyway,i just felt the sudden urge to write about this.

Na O Mei. Yes. the 630 akasia drama at tv3 starring Elly Mazlin, Ady Putra, Iqram Dinzly, Nabila Huda, and a few more..

Tiba2 rase menyampah sangat kat Na O Mei (Elly Mazlin's character). I don't know why. She berlakon macam nampak baik sangat tp sebenarnya i think she is not. And puhleasssssssse i don't like her wearing that dress. Konon baik / seksi. and the way she speaks mcm baik sgt tp lakonan semata!!! i mean, lakonan dalam lakonan. get it.

i DISLIKE ! sory.

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my detachment story - statistical process control

Its a sunday afternoon and I am at home, on my bed listening to Pearl Jam's Black. It's been awhile since I've blogged. It used to be a hobby. And then it became some sort of like a therapy. Later on, it became a routine and as days go by, blogging was like coffee and tea. Addictive. Suddenly I just stopped. I made a decision to temporarily detach myself from this so-called cyber world i.e. blogging and updating FB status that has taken valuable time from me. And sometimes the comments are just too personal to be asked openly. Direct, blunt and bold.

But today, somehow, I decided to blog. Maybe because it's 7th of February 2010.

Alot of things happened. The question is either where do I begin or how do I begin ? Or is it even necessary to begin ? sharing every single detail of my personal life to the public. opening my weaknesses and strengths to everyone so that they can do a S.W.O.T analysis on me. letting unknown or known people to know me, things about me, my emotions and my thoughts.

well, Mr.Big did sing in his song, "oh baby baby it's a wild world" For me, it's a wild and scary cyberworld. It's like statistical process control. I cant control what people say, but I can find ways to reduce / minimize the error. detachment.

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my first 2010 post

I have Tuesday and Wednesday left to go to work. Up till now, I only have a bit of sadness. But when my students come and see me, I will feel sad.

Life has to move on. And so, I am moving on with life.

I wish me all the best in my new future :)

btw, im starting with my MY series again...

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a guy named daniel

a guy named daniel must be in denial. hah! no lah, just joking. just said it cause i thought it rhymes.. haha.. (imagine diana danielle in denial.. it would be a cool headline right? hehe )

i hate this feeling.
the in-denial feeling.
everything that i deny, is actually the act of being in denial.

the power of the mind is powerful (i unintentionally tried this, and it amazingly works.. like The Secret).

now im scared of thinking about anything. that's why i have this denial dilemma thingy going on.

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Salam Maal Hijrah

Tomorrow is 1 Muharam 1431H. My new year's resolution this time is abit different.. Haven't thought about the specific targets though..

But I resolve to be...

a good wife to my husband
a good daughter to my parents and daughter in law to my parents in law
a good sister to all my brothers and sisters and in laws
a good mother to my children (inshallah when the right time comes)
a good aunt to all my nieces and nephews
a good friend to all my friends
a good employee to my employer
a good student to my school of life

a better Muslimah and a better person for each and everyday..

will post my hopes and wishes and targets in the next post..

Salam Maal Hijrah to all Muslims all over the world!

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syncronize

ever feel like everything is just so wrong and what makes it worse is that it has to come all together at one time.?

suddenly i saw my FB profile saying, "patience has its rewards" ...

for that, i realized.

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cool couple

i am in my sister in law's cool condo in johor bahru and the view of singapore is superb. this place is huge! and rase mcm orang kaya lak duduk sini.. thinking of going swimming tomorrow before heading back to kl.

and since my parents, my brother, niece and nephew are in singapore today, i stayed in the condo watching astro and marking papers the whole day.. since our house stopped subscribing astro, i had a lot of catching up to do.

so i watched back to back Bill and Giuliana reality show. and i totally love this couple! they are cool, successful, mature, laid back, and they are truly bestfriends-soulmate kinda.. not so cocky, not so manja manja gedik.. and not much of PDA.. which i think is cool..

best :)

miss ikhwan..

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Tuesdays with Mdm D

When I'm working hard to stay alive, that's jihad. When I'm seriously studying, that's jihad.

Someone once told me that when you are studying, it's like jihad. It's like going to war. And the people who are assisting you in the process of learning or studying is like assisting you going to war.

When you are sincere in delivering, the knowledge will reach them somehow.. It's sad to see how people forget to be nice on their way up.. If this is how people become when they are on their way up, then I don't mind staying the same..


Brighter note : kids working hard on my paper. it's nice to see that they enjoy what they learn.

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press fast forward

ask me then : office politics ? apa tu ?
ask me now : hmm.. biasa lah.. office politics

Work used to be so much fun. Going to work. Teaching. Looking at the students' confused faces and trying to comprehend what they don't comprehend. Playing mind games and teaching them statistics and life. Plus, jadi orang suruhan (a.k.a kuli buat kerja kerja small timer) dah biasa). Tapi bila ada orang menambah perencah to spice up the workplace, tu yang jadi takbest.

For the first time in my 2 and a half years of my working life, I don't enjoy going to work.

I don't.

I want to press FAST FORWARD to 31st January 2010. Only during 8am - 6pm weekdays.

I believe that Allah loves me and the people that is being tested by Him.

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unbelievably suicidal KL rush hour

Im in a foreign place, different bed, different toilet, different air. Im away from my husband, my parents and my family. Im so not used to this. Its like asrama all over again.

thats how i felt staying in the staff apartment nearby my office. my parents went to PD earlier this week and i crashed at my friend's place. the place was not bad. maybe the fact that i am so used to coming back home from work, coming back to another place gave me the asrama-feel. wats cool about my job is its flexible 9 working hour. punch in early, punch out early. punch in late, punch out late. we dont have the problem of the queing up for the lift to get to our workstation, being in the rat race and having unbelievably suicidal KL rush hour. Cause in btg berjuntai, cows would dance if there was a rush hour. thats the perks of working in a ghetto area.

My line of job may look simple and relaxed. But dealing with humans is not as easy as it looks. This almost made me crack a tear.

"puan, puan rasa saya boleh lulus ke?"

i looked at his coursework marks. I was really scared to reach into deep down inside my heart to give him the answer. i decided to find the answer in my mind.

"u must work really hard now. jgn skali2 awak putus semangat. keep on working really hard. inshallah akan berhasil kalau aawak tidak putus asa. jangan give up ok."

before exiting my room, he looked back at me.. with eyes filled with hope.

"baiklah puan. inshallah saya akan buat yang terbaik. terima kasih puan atas segala ilmu ni puan. saya minta halalkan ye puan."

The mind is a really powerful tool.

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4 Secrets to a Spectacular Relationship

Taken from link

#1. Understand Each Other's Needs

"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or physical incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration -- the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts -- that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.

#2. Show Him Some Love

Men whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.

#3. Take 10

A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything, except for responsibilities or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners.

And knowing your partner intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on the block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.

#4. Focus on the Good

The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction."

This doesn't mean that you can't feel -- or talk about -- anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your partnership into one that is truly great.

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Salam Eid Ul Adha

I have been pretty occupied with a lot of stuff this whole month. I didn't have the time nor the passion to write as much as I used to..

Anyways, hope this phase will end. I really hate the fact that I lost the passion to write. Maybe the next entry will be a good one.. Hopefully.. Possibly.. Maybe..

Salam Eid Ul Adha to all Muslims all over the world.

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3

Its the 28th November.

Arwah Rafiq would turn 3 today..

Blowing candles for you dear angel..

We miss you..

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11-11-110

Today is the 11th day of the 11th month..
It's been 110 days I didn't see you..

Happy 11th of the month bb... :)

*Umarmungen und Küsse b*

ich kann warten von tag zu tag für dich ...

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2 thirds of my sleeping time

I always thought that statistics is cooler than calculus. There are always new research especially in social science that you can check out from many many journals. Or sometimes they just publish it in the papers and Prof. or Dr. can give conclusions and comments on it (when the ones who did the real dirty jobs are Research Assistants). I had some gigs as a Statistician. From Raw Primary Data to real conclusions and inferences. I keyed in every data, I could comprehend or predict the outcomes.

For tomorrow's tutorial, I decided to create my own Tutorial questions rather than selecting from the text book. When I was brushing my teeth earlier, I thought of examples that my students can relate to so that they will remember hopefully for the rest of their lives. I stumbled upon an interesting fact. Nielson did a study and found out that the average time per person spend on facebook.com is 4 hours and 39 minutes. Sheeishh.. That's almost 2/3 of my sleeping time. Now I can understand Ikhwan's FB status a few weeks back (He is not an FB fan hehe).

The semester will be ending soon and as usual, I will have this weird feeling. Yes. Its called sedih but happy. Happy that I did my job and carried out my responsibilities not only as an academician but also as a big sister. Of course sad. Sad that I dont know when I will ever see them again. Will they remember me or apply whatever I have taught them. Scared. Hope. Hoping that they will be a successful person one day. I dont really mind if they forget me. Knowing that they have achieved their goals in life, I would be the sidelines apart from their parents and family members who will silently share their joy and happiness.

I ended my tutorial paper with this quote:

When you live for a strong purpose, then hard work isn’t an option. It’s a necessity.- Steve Pavlina.

This one is dedicated to my dear husband, Ikhwan.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

-Notting Hill

I love you b :)
Get a new phone already k hehe.. nnt nak call camne? I know you are reading :)

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get this

I have an announcement...

This is my 500th post! woohoo! Thank you thank you.. (angkat tangan to the crowd)..

Yes, if only I could devote my time to really writing something, say, a novel, perhaps I could publish one already (if its worthy enough to be published)..

I want to make this special. I want to make my 500th post something that is very 500-y. ok.. nothing 500-y comes to mind.

Its a warm sunday afternoon and I just finished my zohor prayers. Its somesort of a lazy sunday. I woke up significantly late and did all the things I had to do. Yesterday Ikhwan shared with me how he cleaned up his house (kudos bb!) and it triggered me to do the same. I rearranged the furnitures in my room and it looks abit spacious now compared to before.

Other updates, starting this month, I am seriously serious about being more serious. I just realized that I am in my LATE 20s.. (gasps) oh dear. But why dont I feel so? apa masalahnya ? I guess its good to feel young and vibrant (ok, you can puke now) since most of the time, I am surrounded with young and vibrant people (my students). sometimes the guess the lecturer's age game would be playing in their minds and the numbers that they come up with could be flattering. of course some knows my real age lah.

I used to start my mornings with '$h!t Im late.. again!' Now I am abit more relaxed and organized. It was my new year's resolution.... back in 2004. haha.

Its good that time is flying fast. Its already november and the year it about to end. Time flies fast when you have a lot of things to do. Especially if you have to travel almost 70 kms for almost 2 hours to get to work in a ghetto area, it can be tiring. But fulfilling and rewarding.

I spend my weekends with my husband (im not used to referring him as hubby.. i dont know why) online, time for myself and for my family and friends. Recharge my batteries as I need to use maximum and optimum energy for work and study.

Today my facebook status reads 'late 20s huh?'

Really... seriously ?

I am thankful to be alive, happy and healthy and I do feel young and vibrant :)
alhamdulillah

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practise makes perfect

In Business Statistics class this week, I taught them 2 way ANOVA. I started the class with this,

'Before I start my lecture, I want you to open your hearts, and your minds. Because the knowledge that you are about to download, the Gigabyte is very big.'

They laughed.

After an hour of lecture and watching their kepala berasap, I gave them a take 5 before continuing. The second half of the class, I discussed some examples and only a few could follow.

'That's why I said, you must open your heart.. '
'But Madam, how? My heart is somewhere else?' one guy made a joke.
I played along, 'then my heart will go on la..'

Laughters.

After discussing the answers, I could see some faces who understood the topic and started to explain to their colleagues.

I tried to motivate them by saying this 'It may look difficult at first. Because you are not used to it.. But once your used to it, you'll be fine'

To relate, I added, '...... is like getting married. Your heart must be open, then things will go with the flow.. Of course you're not used to it at first, but with a lot of practise you'll be ok'

Suddenly, the whole class burst into laughters. And I realized after one of them asked...

'Practise apa Puan?'

I turned to the board as I felt my face was burning.

Tang tu cepat pulak paham............... kids!

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