memories : new life

i watched bride wars about 2 months ago and remember the wedding planner said, 'as at now, you are dead.. until you are married.. now ? yeah, you're dead'

last week i was having something that people might call it, psychotic stress syndrome. (need not to elaborate on that), hence, the previous previous post.

today while hanging out with my brother and sister in law, suddenly i took out my wedding album and we looked at the pictures, again. it was all a nice feeling. remembering the days. and i looked at the date, i thought, it's been one month. one month since i left germany. one month since i was in the arms of my loving husband. ikhwan always say, dont think about it too much. yes, i tried not to think about it too much. but sometimes the vision comes to me. the wedding, the akad. and sometimes when i close my eyes, it was as though i was really there. imagining walking with him, swinging our arms as we walk to the grocery store, and i would talk and talk and talk and he would listen and sometimes joke around. and everytime, he has to correct my german words and say, 'kan i dah cakap dah..' and walking back from the grocery store, we would walk less slowly because we had to carry the groceries in our bags and he would look at me and say, 'sian dia..' and i would say in a tough voice, 'takpe takpe takpe' though it was heavy but it didnt matter, because he was next to me.. and the burden that we share, i would want to carry it too..because we are a team.. through thick and thin..

everything. almost every single memory. it still clear, in my head, and in my mind. though it has been one month that i didnot see him, it feels like forever.
though it has been 2 monts plus that we got married, it feels like it was only yesterday that we were playing n running around the hall during the rehearsal.

my dear ikhwan, you said 'u have to write'. i write for you. i miss you..