my henna

This is what i did on a really boring saturday afternoon... besides taking a nap.. you see, its the time of the month again... the gaji time.. and last week we got our gaji.. walaupun ayat ni takde relevant pun tapi i wanna go out sangat2 but im just very lazy because last week dah kencang gi wedding.. i have my green eyed contact lens to show off tapi mcm malas nak pakai.. you see, it the time of the month.. the lazy time...

selain daripada itu, activity blogging pun telah diadakan and sessi tukar2 color telah berlaku.. previously the blog was black in color and now i've changed it to maroon-pink kinda..

can't wait for ikhwan to come back from london so that i can hear his stories yippie!!!

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my favourite Korean movie

was up last night watching "Seducing Mr. Perfect".. omigod.. tolong laa! Daniel Henney looked super-gorgeous..

great movie.. definately a must-see especially people who are sucker for love stories like me!

A scene from Seducing Mr. Perfect

This is nyummy Mr. Daniel Henney...

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my G-stringS and my big R

life has been quite hectic and chaotic but silent for the past few days.. weddings.. again weddings.. so kena beli baju banyak so that ppl won't be like "did she wear that on dot dot dot's wedding?" of course there's the occasional, "hey dah lame tak jumpa you.. you buat apa skrg?" and there's always this "you bila lagi?"

so life at home pun mcm biasa la.. we have a new maid.. she's quite quiet and does her job like... non stop.. i hope this one is okay.. and then there's the chikedees that i take care of.. you see i'm like a part time mother now.. going back home, playing with babies and i kinda sensed that they sometimes see me as their mother which feels nice at times.. when they sorta gesel2 their head on my shoulder nak suruh dukung.. and when they wait at the doorstep at 720 everyday to see me come home..

however, those chikedees telah merosakkan my G-string.. yes.. you guessed it.. my guitar strings now are broken.. or putus or rosak or whatever it is you call it.. bottom line is, now dah tak ley main.. and again i have to go and buy a new set of strings now.. takpe takpe its okay.. it's only like rm22... or rm50! adoi.. nasib baik laa chikedee...

been reading some blogs and some new resolutions.. dalam kepala ada laa a few..

=MY BIG R=

1. To cook at least ONCE a week ON A WEEK DAY atau hari yang bekerja
- ok so far ni dah diimplementkan.. so far so good..

2. To mcm meng-make up make up kan diri sedikit sebanyak
- ok ni pun dah start beli beli dah.. they other day went to AVON to buy this SUPERB liquid eye liner and it work wonders!

3. To buy at least 1 pair of baju a month
- ni sebenarnya dah lame dah diimplementkan hehehe

4. To save up $ to go to Europe specifically Germany to see BB
- ok working on it

5. To learn one word a day
- ni liat sket.. hehehe

6. To find a specific field, cari betul2 university to further my studies
- working on it...

Ok i guess that's it kot for my big R.. we'll see in a year's time and tgk how far i will go at the end of 2008...

Have a happy new year... welcome 2008

Missing my BB :( and hav been listening to these songs to mengubat rindu :-
23 - Jimmy Eat World
The Way I Am - Ingrid Michealson [kat youtube atas tu]
Cancer - My Chemical Romance [kat iPod atas tu]
Close To Me - Long Vacation's Soundtrack
I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy

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my 2007

Gosh, 2007 went by in a blink of an eye.. sedar2 today dah 21122007.. tomorrow's nadia wedding (my oldest childhood friend and probably one of the few friends that i consider my bestfriend who has been with me through thick and thin).. i'm happy for her.. but sad at the same time.. sad coz lps ni it won't be the same anymore :( but i can't be sellfish kan? I wish her all the happiness in the world :) Congratulations Nadia!

So let's sum up 2007 shall we?

January
- We started the new semester. Mondays and Thursdays was Prof Aziz's class, Computing and Multivariate Analysis. We learned our lesson from the Sampling paper not to piss him off during menjawab periksa.. so we studied really hard.. tried to read his mind and presented every assignment as simple and as clear as possible for him to comprehend.. we also learned that Statistics is actually not that hard as it looks like..
- Started on my Dissertation. I have decided to take Dr.KI as my supervisor as I think i can learn a lot and i feel that i can work with him.. As to my surprise, bende yang I paling tanak skali dpt.. which is, i ventured to Bayesian statistics.. but it turned out alhamdulillah ok :) of course the programming (winBUGS) is not as complicated as SPLUS but nak crack the code to bole crack the head..
- My nephew, Muhammad Rafiq Danish was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA Type 1). What is SMA? It's a deadly disease. and we were devastated. when i found out, i cried the whole night just looking at his pictures.. how to save a life?

February
- Struggling with my dissertation. Ikhwan flew back. yay! we had a great time together :) went to movies and just hung out most of the time.. everytime i had the chance, i will drive to gombak after class to see him..

March
- Debaran makin terasa.. during this time, we had study group almost everyday.. and everyday after class we will be tepu coz class dah 4 jam, sometimes 5 and later nak buat study group mcm dah takde idea.. but thanks to my friends who never fail to bagi semangat, so we did our study group regardless... pushed ourselves to the limit..
Ikhwan flew back to germany :( phone i pun rosak.. damn it

April
We had finals. For me and naiemah, we took only 2 papers.. but the rest of the 8 credit hours was for our dissertation.. and mase ni tengah kelam kabut siapkan dissertation.. a lot of frustrations though :( malas nak elaborate sini..

May
the month where i started blogging with the title "MY... ".. Rafiq's condition became worse.. and there were times when i just couldnt concentrate with my dissertation.. because of alot of external factors.. but it was my birthday that month so i tried to make the best of everything.. my dissertation presentation went well.. and during this time, i was struggling to finish up my writing.. started to apply for jobs and going for interviews.. time was running out.. cause i had to look for $ to support myself..

i got a nice slick pink motorola v3 for my birthday from ikhwan.. Thanks baby :)

June
Went for interview with RAM which sucked big time.. (hate those yuppies) yeah of course i don't wanna be a yuppy.. been there done that cewah.. malas tol.. i've decided to live a simple live.. semangat nak jadi lecturer semakin kuat.. applied for a lot of jobs... many many jobs.. went for several interviews.. even company cekai2 pun pergi.. just to practise and improvise on my communication and confidence level..

Struggling to finish my dissertation.. lepas submit jer.. i was admitted to the hospital.. coz i couldnt bangun pun for almost 2 weeks [lesson learned : lain kali makan ubat! especially anti-biotics! ... eewww yuck!] stayed there for like 4 days? insurance covered.. plus i got mcm elaun kesusahan to cover for the administration fee.. [see.. its not really free..]

July
Got my results and yay i am a MSc. Statistics graduate! only Allah knows how i feel.. although i mmg agak frust coz my dissertation dpt B+ jer.. when i worked my asses off especially the programming bit.. tp takpela.. takde rezeki.. good for me though, i was on a roll for interviews.. went to UNISEL's interview immediately after i got out of the hospital.. so i was coughing away tp fortunately mase mock teaching i nailed it ! alhamdulillah ... 16th july went to Penang for USM's Fellowship Program interview.. which unfortunately i tak dpt jawapan till now (tak dpt la tu) but it's okay, coz mase on the way back, which in the bus from Penang to KL, i got a call from unisel soh amek offer letter.. i got the job! ahamdulillah :) and for that, i strongly believe that if rezeki u takde kat satu tempat, ada hikmahnya.. :)

August
Start a new job, new life.. DUNIA BARU u... hehe.. nice laa.. i enjoy teaching.. till now pun.. a lot of weddings in between. my Convocation took place on 16th August 07.. and at the same day, i got extra RM 250 from Prof. Dr. Zul, when i worked as his RA.. coolness so i treated my parents and shaz for lunch at Equatorial Hotel.. savvy..

September
Mama papa pergi umrah.. so for 2 weeks i stayed at Akamal's house.. ade la rasa homesick kadang2.. a lot of weddings.. Cikyah hung out at my place... Rafiq's condition became worse when mama papa gi umrah... he looked like he was trying to say something... but just couldn't... September 11... me & ikhwan's 2nd year anniversary :) he was still there tgh kemas2 nak balik ... hehehe
Ramadhan came on 13th September... Mama & papa arrived from Mecca on 14th and Ikhwan arrived KL on 15th.. just nice :) however, ramadhan bulan ni mmg sedey.. coz on 17th September 2007, Rafiq, my nephew, passed away at 730 shortly after we buka puasa.. we were all with him when he passed away.. and the saddest part was, me & kakfarah just went shopping for his baju raya.. and on the same day, baru je tempah baju melayu untuk dia nak pakai utk raya.. his baju is biru.. just like mine..
Rafiq is in heaven now...Allah took him on a holy month.. and just after mama papa came back from Mecca... He is indeed.. terlalu istimewa... i told ikhwan on 30th september.. bulan ni ada best ada tak best.. coz Rafiq was no longer with us... may he rest in peace.. Al-Fatihah...

October
Spent a lot of time with Ikhwan.. Raya pun best tahun ni coz this was the first raya we spent together.. he came over to my house and i went raya to his house.. hence, the meet-the-parents session took place.. everything went well, i guess alhamdulillah.. he balik on 23rd october..

November
Bz with exams and finishing up coursework for students..

December
WEddings... and weddings through out the month... started the new semester with a kick.. hopefully it'll go well this semester and in 2008...

So basically that is the sum up of the year... will blog about my new year's resolution next :)

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my students' SMSes

Its normal when students develop a certain level of trust with the lecturer.. so mcm ada harapan nak jadi 'buddies' with your lecturer.. yeah sure sure.. that's no problem.. tp as an academician (wah, really aa?) who's guided by ethics and professionalism (fuiyo), i have to abide by the rules. yang depa dok sms sms tnya results dapat berapa.. risau mase pekse ngantok takbole jawabla.. blank masa pekse and stuff...

So the question is.. why now? why when i have already completed my marking, dah verified the results, sent to the senate for approval, keyed in the results... why bila dah habis semua baru nak sms tnya results?

and then nak minta 'up'kan results.. why? what for?? kenapa taknak struggle sebelum periksa? kenapa taknak come and see me and discuss your problems before the exams? ni tak, pekse kol 8... kol 6 call tanya mcm ne nak baca normal table... mane tak angin??

"miss, saya tak paham la mcm ne nak baca normal table.. miss takde ajar pun?"
kepala hangguk ko! habis mcmne org lain bole je buat?? brani nak blame me for not teaching in class.. tu yg aku hangin tol... you sendiri tak blajar, kepala melayang mase class, or even attended the class.. you wanna tell me I DIDNT TEACH U?? yeah rite..

walaumcm mana pun, i love this job..

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my DISK KNIGHT nightmare!

Horrornyer bila computer kena virus. yup. mine was effected with this horrific - ghostly - rase marah marah - nak baling baling computer - virus.. it's called DISK KNIGHT.. yeah sure it enables some sort of protection through ur USB drive but somehow dia mengimplant kan dirinya sendiri dalam computer and it becomes excrutiatingly painful to keluarkan (ok, i might be exaggerating coz of my lack of skills dlm bidang2 IT nih).. however, after many attempts and sleepless nights (actually just last night, tido kol 1230), i managed to membunuh akar umbinya hanyalah dengan:

1. Restart PC in safe mode
2. Check "Show hidden files"
3. Go to C:\WINDOWS
4. Delete a file called KNIGHT yang ada logo pedang
5. Search for files with nama "knight"
6. Delete
7. Go to Control Panel > Add and Remove Hardware
8. Cari virus berhantu nama Disk Knight
9. Remove
10. Restart

EZ Breezy! and beres.. betapa senangnyer... takpayah la nak tukar tukar Reg Edit tu and install Sophos 30 days trial (coz bende tu je yg bole detect DISK KNIGHT ni).. hopefully takde dah.. so far alhamdulillah i check takde...

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my 3 days in a row update - DAY 3

omigod.. susahnyer nak siapkan 3 day update nih! malas2... been very the lazy to update my blog.. plus, i tgk org2 kat tepi tepi ni takde pun mengupdate.. adoi hai.. so blank wif ideas...

anyway, day 3 we got our gaji.. woohoo!!!!! so i bought some pants and blouse for kerja..

(trust me, when i had this 3 day update idea in my head, it wouldnt be as boring as it is right now.. but i am just sooooooooooo lazy)

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my 3 days in a row update - DAY 2

Monday

Me & Chik went to UKM for 'WHL Seminar & Workshop : World Human Longevity" which i find very interesting and enlightening. It also sparked me to do my postgraduate program in various topics.. mcm tiba2 rase semangat nak buat research and stuff.. nice~ here are some pictures from the workshop [ok sekarang ni mood yg sangat malas nak blog]

This is when Dr. Gavrilov, a researcher from the US was presenting her findings on Biomarkers.

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my 3 days in a row update - DAY 1

Sunday

Omigod , i vaguely remember sunday.. why is that??? BUT what i remember was, i went to ANOTHER wedding.. (yup) at shah alam. it was our schoolmate, Yani. me & din (the usual faces) went together at 2 plus pm when almost everybody left the reception tinggal muka2 yg lepak2 sebab nak borak2 with friends (cth: naf & husband, hafiz mamat, zunaize, juliana, maz, didi) it was nice to see them

again after so long! especially juliana.. Opps, Dr. Juliana now.. yup2.. semua dah berjaya baya now being doctors and stuff..
anyways, we (as in me and ju, and me and din) took pictures (unfortunately i nicely forgot to take pix wif the pengantin.. do'h [simpson style])..



When din dropped me off, she said, hey we didn't even take picture together although we are wearing the same baju kurung color! ha'ah laaaaa jom jom..
See, this happened before, me & din selalu teraccidentally pakai baju sama.. hehehe din din..

In the evening, i spent some time with ikhwan. we were discussing about future collaborations on several projects in saving the planet earth and how we are prepared to face the future... NOT! heheh.. naah we were planning some future plans (not either) hehe.. well, we were more or less doing pretty much any other couples would do.. helping out resumes.. hehe.. see ikhwan is planning to find a job here or at least see how the labour market is like in malaysia.. sementara tgh kencang bincang pasal CVs and resumes.. he did the sweetest lil thing...


You see.. he sent me a file.. a .exe file.. and i was wondering what could it be? so i opened the file and guess what? he created me a program :)

[ok the program was pasted here earlier, tp due to copyright issues (cewah) tidak boleh dipastekan disini..] heh heh

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my wedding weekend

i had 2 weddings to attend to this weekend. yesterday was one of my closest friend's wedding, Ena. My old buddy mase sekolah dulu. Her wedding was nice. very much family oriented, very much elegant.. that's the ena we know.. now dat she's happily married, i wish her all the happiness in the world with her husband, Wan. going to Yani's wedding later.. will blog about it after i get back from her wedding.. what to wear haaa? hmmmm.. running out of baju kurung and kebayas

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my RM6 at giant

Love fridays. i drove to work today and took off early. nap a short nap before maghrib (which is so unhealthy) and then mandi sekejap.. We had dinner and later i went minom2 with 2 of my good friends, Din & Azlina. nice~ the old roti canai and teh tarik kurang manis. just the way i like it.. sedar tak sedar almost 12 man.. gosh, its nice to have this friday nite hang outs once in a while..
maybe the fact that we live dekat2 so senang nak kluar. and also we all jenis yg, jom!

I guess once you tie the knot, you sorta tie yourself to a commitment yang you cannot run from. even escape for one minute. sure sure, you say, "no laah lepas kawin boley lagi karu2.." yup2 sure.. but that's not usually the case..

so to those who haven't tied the knot, have you teh tarik and roti canai till 12 am on friday nites as often as u can.. coz its just not the same after u've tied the knot..

and i cant believe a tuna spread and a dozen of eggs costed me RM6.. what? price index man!

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my perhaps perhaps perhaps

When you are in love, or in a state of loving someone (which actually is the same thing.. or is it?), you hear people saying, you make me feel like i can be myself when i'm around you. Like Antoine de Sains says, Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.

Perhaps, what he says is true. People can mean a lot of things when they say something. Or maybe at times, don't mean anything at all. Shooting blanks. Just like politicians who says a bucket of promises to burn the fire inside your heart, feeling all patriotic and nationalistic.. But how sincere is the struggle of today's politicians? For what? to prevail power and money?

Winston Churcill once said, perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right, than to be responsible and wrong. I guess being a leader needs a lot of responsibilities. Even in Islam, you will be asked in the afterworld of your responsibilities and how well you perform your task. Sure you question your leaders, of course, you voted for them. With all the chaos and misleading information going around the country, I sometimes mengeluh at what has happened to us? After 50 years of independence, we are still dijajah. Even worse, not by the brits, but by our own people. And for what? For power? And after they have the power, the struggles are for the nation? And if so, why do we still have a huge gap between the ultimately rich and the devastatingly poor people? Of course, the talking, the discussing is always mind stimulating and also heart wrenching. We as observers can only observe. or can we? so we complain about how life is unfair. Oscar Wilde says "Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not". Yeah sure.. People have better things to do such as discus really thought provoking issues. Why argue about AirAsia stewardass who wears unimaginably low cut uniforms till the lady-politicians feels so threatened by it? Aren't there any other BIGGER issues to be addressed in such a BIG event? Well of course the jokes about marrying another woman is so funny (har har) when you can discuss about the safety about women walking around, children safety. What are they really discussing? Wanna wait till something like the NJJ case or Altantuya strikes again? then only worry? Are our struggles done after we reached 50 years of independence? Have we done everything we could to be a developed country? Is this the end for our generation? In the words of Winston Churchill, "This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning".

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my french toast & ym chats

How freaky is that? Sometimes i feel like we have this psycic(spelling) thingy going on.. Din din.. we know each other very well ;)

its wednesday already? how fast time flies when you're having fun.. (ahaha). im starting to prepare my lecture notes for next semester already. starting ahead early this year. so i have almost everything planned out for next semester and also 2008. really looking forward for the next few months.. its gonna be busy busy busy.. i like~.. (i hope)..

so we might go out for our usual - once - in - awhile minom2 ritual later this week.. just to relax chill and unwind.. hehe yup. probably i need some unwinding too.. maybe at this point of our lives, we're searching for something that we aren't sure of.. and wonder..


Like this conversation i had with another friend of mine (nama dirahsiakan atas sebab2 tertentu)..

Sometimes we ask ourselves once in a while those 4 words that makes us gulp and think for hours till you doze off with the lights on.. "Is it worth it?" The question that haunts us all. The question that sorta puts a period sign on every sentence that comes out from your mouth. The question that makes your steps a little slower, your meal tastes a little bitter, you breathe a little faster, you sleep a little lighter.

But the truth is, there are no right answer for that question. In statistics, we learn that there are quantitative variables and qualitative variables. And often a case like this, we shall categorize it as qualitative variable. Where you can't quantify the answer. Because the answers aren't discrete, aren't distinct. its a continuous variable where you can't define a certain point, or a specific answer. When its continuous, the variables can be quantified in a form of a range, or area under the curve.. and an answer for this question has a wide range of statements. and we all know that when the range is large, it varies from many many numerous *myriad opinion.. hence, the variance is large.. and when the variance is large, you are further from the Real answer which nobody has a clue what the Real answer is. Statistics are within us.. and to quantify the worth of what you're doing... to answer the 4-word-question, is really infinit ..

Nonetheless,

[infinity is meaningless, but useful]

*p/s: i just thought of using the word myriad.. not sure if it fits the sentence..

lovey,

-dj-

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my Pachelbel's Canon in D

I was having a chat with Nadia.. helping her out with her wedding songs.. hehehe and i came across this guy on youtube.. and i had a great laugh.. Damn funny.. enjoy!

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my tick tock

tick tock the time at the clock shows that its 4:35 PM on a monday afternoon. I have completed my student's coursework's marks and now i'm waiting for the examination paper to commence on this thursday.

we had a great sunday - day yesterday.. we as in me, my mom and my dad.. went jogging in the morning.. washed my car.. went to giant to check out some furnitures.. drove to ikea to get some kitchen stuff and the rest of the day we chilled at home.. nice~ loving ikea's 2008 interior design.. hoping to get some of the items soon insyaAllah for the 'big day'.

some weird things has been happening.. ada sorang tu perangai dia makin pelik.. and i'll be like.. aaahh.... whatever~~~~~~ dunno lar.. jeles kot? or just plain psychotic..

i must say, november isn't the best month of the year.. although today is only the 12th.. hoping for many more good things to happen now..

recent updates : received some bad news from a friend.. telling about another friend..

will blog some thought-provoking blogs.. but just not today.. harini mcm tak selesa.. coz the shoes i wore, just happen to be dah lame and dah koyak2.. the things that i put on just doesn't fit [if you know what i mean?] going home soon..

oh, my new song called :- me

me likey me happy
me lovey lovey dovey
me missy me crazy
me chiky chiky baby

oh, and there's a dance to it.. nnt la if u want me to demo.. i will show u personally.. hehehe

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my new sweet fave song

I'm loving this new song, by Ingrid Michaelson - The way I am. Thanks to the one who introduced to me this song.. it's been in my head this whole day... The lyrics are cute and sweet.. She's pretty too :)











Here are the lyrics: -

If you were falling, then I would catch you.You need a light, I'd find a match.
Cuz I love the way you say good morning.And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.Your head is aching, I'll make it better.
Cuz I love the way you call me baby. And you take me the way I am.
I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair. Sew on patches to all you tear.
Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise. And you take me the way I am. You take me the way I am.You take me the way I am.

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my raya 2007

i've been wanting to post this post about raya since... well.. 1st syawal.. tomorrow is the last day of syawal so i guess its still okay for me to post this today..

our raya was very meriah.. everybody was around.. although i guess everyone wished that arwah Rafiq was around to share the joy with us.. may his soul be blessed by Allah...

Mama, sorry for everything that i've done...

* * PICTURE HAS BEEN DELETED **

Papa.. minta maaf for everything..

* * PICTURE HAS BEEN DELETED **

Me and my loving parents..
* Arrow: My sister in law tengah betulkan langsir

* * PICTURE HAS BEEN DELETED **

Our Raya 2007 family photo

* * PICTURE HAS BEEN DELETED **

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berborak petang bersama chik

i got locked out from my office today.. so i hung out at chik's office to finish up some work.. and while we did our usual 'marking paper'.. we got to talking about infidelity... and suddenly, i sorta blurted out a question,

"apa perasaan perempuan yang merampas suami orang yer?"

and chik dengan penuh selamba said, "bangga kot? sbb dia rasa dia lebih lawa.."

but is that usually the case?

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my resolution for 2008 [part1]

i'm starting with my new year's resolution early this year.. i mean, for next year.. people tend to wait for end of december to think of a new year's resolution and commence only somewhere in january.. so what's my new year's resolution? i have a bunch of them in my head right now.. i have learned that if u want to make a resolution, you have to write it down on paper and hang it or paste it at a place u always see so that it can remind you that you have an aim.. a mission or a target..

jadi apakah resolution cik dora? akan disambung nnt..

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17 Rules Between Men and Women

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any given time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks ackbone, and is a wimp.

16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5

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my brief update

haven't been blogging in a while.. need to finish up some stuff before the semester ends.. some quick updates:-

life:
is pretty routine

no other updates for now..

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my not so bloggy mood entry

i decided to start blogging here instead of my 15blankpages.. im just gonna leave that one blank.. as i am typing this, its 12:11 pm 24th October 2007. I am on my desk with a bunch of papers to key in their marks and yet, i am blogging.. rehat la kejap..

yesterday, bb flew off to germany.. we had a long talk.. saying our goodbyes.. just for a bit.. till he comes back in half a year from now... indeed it was hard saying goodbye.. although i know i will talk to him again soon.. any minute from now, he will call me from his cell phone in germany telling me that he has safely landed.. insyaAllah..

we had a great time together.. since he came back in september, we talk everyday and see each other everytime we have the chance.. and everytime we meet its always smooth and relaxed.. like always...

i miss him already.. bila la nak telepon ni? chikedidudadi betul... not in the bloggy mood.. coz the anticipation is killing me softly..

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my mushroom

suddenly mushrooms tumbuh bnyk sgt kat my house.. we're like ... what's up??

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my penang trip~

These are the pictures during my trip to Penang on 15-17th July 2007. This is the first part.. I'll do another slide show for another part of my trip :)

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my expression

The worst feeling that you can feel is when you feel nothing. Something like empty. have you ever felt nothing? have you ever been in a situation when you try your best to be something that you might be good at and all of a sudden, one question that pops out from your mouth made all that effort go away becoz of the question mite b miscontrued as something else.. and you kinda get taken aback becoz u never tot that that question was even a question that was relevant. i mean, all u did was juz ask a question. but bcoz of sum miscommunication or somesort, all those effort was left in vain when u get "you still don;t get it".. well maybe you really don't get it. but was you really don't get is that how could that question be miscontrued to something so negative when all you wanted to do was just ask a question out of curiosty.. and you're feeling kinda down bcoz of something that really matters to you is worry you and everything seems to just fall apart. when your frens don't get how it is that you can't hang out as much because of a reason that you have explained but somehow, it will always always be your fault because you have a history.. and no matter how clear you make things look so that people might comprehend, they just can't because they are not in your shoes and they will never be because your shoes aren't theirs to fit. and somehow just somehow, things just go wrong at the wrong place and the wrong time.. when all you wanted was to help.. sometimes being helpful is best when you're helping the ones that you really care.. and really cares for you..because no matter what, the people that truly care and truly understand are the ones who will be there for you no matter what happens, no matter how shitty things may look no matter how dirty their hands mite get..

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my my my

after a long time of not blogging, here i am now. although i don't think i have as much readers here compared to my 15blankpages blog. anyway, things have been moving fast lately.. i'm always chasing cars or chasing time. not that i have that much to do, but time flies when you;re trying to finish up your write up on your dissertation. to sum things up, time flies but i'm kinda standing still. it's like that video clip, where the singer is standing still but people around are moving so fast.. im kinda feeling like dat.. will update later on things when i'm not standing so still.. as much..

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my victory confession

i've always sucked at games, although during high school i was quite a sportwoman, those days are over.. sigh.. and now, i can't even score a computer game.. but today, after numerous attempts, i finally won the ping pong game on the left panel that i have uploaded using the google gadget.. a sweet victory 10-7. hah! im unstoppabable now.. woohoo!

oh a very happy 30 plus plus birthday to my big sister diba.. i wish her all the happiness in the world.. :)

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my 18 cents

the day started with me preparing for my dissertation slide presentation, prior to 'the day', my supervisor said, "your analysis is wrong! ln 0 mane dpt 0, its undefined! what have u done??" and im like shit.. so i had to redo my analysis, juz one part though..

ikhwan was there with me to give me the support that i needed to go through the night while finishing my slides.. i slept like 3 hours and woke up at 6am. but before azan, my eyes were wide open, and then ikhwan gave me a wake up call..thanks dear..

so i did what i needed to do.. i practised wat i wanted to say while driving to school.. jem pulak kat sg.besi but i managed to make it on time.. the challenging part was, i had to print out the slides to give to all the panels but i couldnt do it at home cause my printer's cartridge was having sum problem. cobaaan~~~~

so i was running around the school trying to find abangfendi, the comp lab assistant and he helped out, after much anticipation, i finally presented my dissertation..

alhamdulillah it went well.. i really have to really thank my parents for praying for me and for all the support, the faith and the patience of putting up with me not helping out much at home, my supervisor who was consistent enough to guide me, naiemah who helped me with alotta Bayesian statistical terms, ikhwan with his neverending support and faith and basically everybody else who helped out.. but i guess i feel kinda bad cause i couldnt help out much at home cause i was too busy doing work.. i wanna make it up to my parents.. i wanna help them and repay what they have given me.. and maybe do more.. i love them soo much.. thanks mama and papa, this scroll is for you insyaAllah, amin... so after driving back home, i singgah giant to buy some kuih2 for our evening tea..i was short of 18 cents.. but its okay though. so now its just me and my parents and baby fahim..

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my weak week

Queen's "Another one bites the dust" has constantly been playing in my head for the past few days. and everytime its in my head, i'll bop my head to it. dem. and the clothes and everything are just soo 80's but no doubt that Queen rocks!





Yesterday I think I sorta lost it, ok, don't wana talk abt that. Change topic. Positive positive.. Some really cool things has been happening though. i got my razr, thanks bb..i love it alot! and abgkamal treated us for domino's pizza which i soo love.. hehe..

I miss rafiq though, but when i heard that he was coming to PJ, i left everything at school and rushed back home to see him. I managed to feed him milk and took some pictures with him :) Rafiq is not so well but we are praying hard that he gets well soon.. :) InsyaAllah

Ok, nothing much to blog about. It's just that I am abit tired and pretty warned out. bcoz of something which i'd rather not talk about. im running out of positive energy and i somehow still can't find any new ones to replace the ones i've used. so i guess that's why im abit weak this week. but i'm ok.



Another one bites the dust

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my trip to all over klang valley

the day started at when i woke up at 7, i think. i had a long day the day before becoz of a fren currently suffering from depression (kinda) and i did my usual 'im always there for u' thingy. after a jumpy wake up call, i rushed to print out my brother's IC and drove my dad to KGNS to meet sum1 and on the way back, picked up my sister at the LRT and went back home so that dad could get ready for his meeting at 2pm in putrajaya. we had to go early because i had to send my sister in sunway. after dropping her, we headed towards KLIA where i had to pick up a package in pos malaysia which was actually nearby LCCT and the journey took us about 1 hour and 30 minutes!

we arrived at pos malaysia 3 minutes before 12, i was afraid they mite say, "sorry we're closed for lunch" memang nak kena lempang la cause if they open again at 1, we couldnt make it to putrajaya before 2. fortunately, they were around and basically were doing nothing, just sitting around chit chatting and they were really happy to see ONE customer came by. procedures and stuff, long story short, i got my package and was driving with a smile on my face towards putrajaya. we made it on time, reached the mosque at 1pm where me & my dad had nasi briyani which was RM10 each!! only to find that the meeting has been postphone to another date. sigh. but it's okay. at least we managed to pick up my package.

after i reached home, i searched on the net on how to unlock simlock for my new pinky v3 phone. hehe. its slick n nice and i love it. unfortunately i couldnt find it, talked to cikyah and she said i might as well unlock it kat kedai. so, mase i picked up mama kat salon, i called din and asked if she'd accompany me to klcc to unlock it (cause that's the only place i know that can unlock the simlock phone). din happily said yes and came over to pick me up at 5 to 6pm. wrong timing though, bcoz it was jammed all the way to LDP so din said singgah rumah dia kejap and she changed her attire to sumthing more casual. so we headed to KLCC while singing like a mad man the song "together forever" from my bestfriend's wedding. hahaha! nice.. after reaching klcc, we walked towards DR.MOBILE CLINIC which was supposedly who can do it. and they could. but my eyeballs almost bolted out of my eyesocket when they said, "that's the standard price, RM 180" and sorta gave me that 'nak ke taknak? tanak sudah' look. and the next 2 or 3 shops quoted the same price.. sigh...

din suggested to go to subang parade where there's a digital mall. so i said, ok lets give it a shot.but din's mom called and we had to buy tix for her as she wanted to go back to kelantan cause her grandma's sick.. so singgah PWTC's ade bas station, (what's the name? i forgot) which was a scary place to me..

so at almost 915, we reached subang parade (which i think looked very cool after 10 years of not going there). and voila... they could unlock it at RM80! yippie. so now im hoping everything's ok cause i wana use my new slicky pinky. hehe. afterwards, we went to syed bistro to have chicken chop and nasi goreng pattaya which was T-A-S-T-Y! we had a great laugh and a great time laughing.

i really have to thank adina for offering to drive me around. she's a really good friend. and a good friend, is really hard to find. thanks din!

so that was how i spent my 8th may of 2007. a long day and a very panjang trip to all over klang valley. tinggal kelang je tak singgah., heh~~

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my bowling day out pictures

hello friends.. as promised here are the pictures on 5th may. i've managed to put it into a slide show so that it won't take up too much space in my blog. enjoy!

oh yes, the descriptions are all made by me.. hehe.. credits to din who brought the camera to the bowling alley :)

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my beautiful day

hello people. yes2, it was a beautiful day today. i slept at almost 1230 last nite and woke up at 10am. nice~ blue skies and sunshine all the way..although it rained in the morning.. i think.. ? had lunch with mama, papa and farhan at KGNS. chicken chop was abit dry but considering it was a sunday, and not just any sunday, it was mybirthday sunday :) so i guess it was ok :) shaz came over and hung out wif me, we talked mostly, looked at old pictures. alotta smses and birthday wishes.. thanks! and after that, spent time wif my dizzle.. :)
all in all, it was a nice, relaxed, no expectations-kinda, simple, laid back day for me.. a great 26th birthday :) just as i wanted.. spending time wif my family (parents la today) and loved ones.

yesterday, i organized a bowling tournament(tournament??).. ok la invited sum frens for bowling cause i soo wanted to go bowl since forever! and woohoo i scored 111 and that is the best score that i got since..... a longgg time.. although 111 is not so great. hehe
well i had a great time bowling. there were like 10 of us that bowled, 3 just watched.. but we had a good time, laughing making jokes n stuff.. ate at jusco's tmpat makan, and azra belanja nasik lemak which was nice too (sbb orang blanje hehe) oo we also had tiramisu cake at the bowling alley (selambe) and it was licin disental 13 orang.. hehe

having all these great things and great time made me realize how much i'm gonna miss this.. when everyone's married and already had kids.. cause that's what happens when you're married (ok, not that i'm getting married any time soon), but gaining your 'own life' , you gotta
sacrifice your 'own life' which is your single life.. which i am at right now, single but not available, i mean, in a relationship but not married yet. well.. here's to being at liberty at 26! hehe..
happy birthday to me.. :)

ohyes, will upload the photos of bowling soon when i get from din... the pic above was taken at 6 sumthing on my birthday :)

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my last kiss

i'm very psyched about tomorrow. it's been months since i went bowling. that last one was on christmas eve. and the one before that was.. i cant remember.. but the one before i cant remember was with ikhwan on our second date. hehe

why i asked my frens to go bowl? maybe the fact that tomorrow wud b the last day i will be 25 and i wana celebrate my birthday with my family on sunday. yeah, nothing like spending your sundays at home with ur loved ones. i find myself being very much family oriented lately. call me not having a life but i guess there's nothing wrong with spending your weekends with your family, is there?

i guess it's because most of my friends are married and having kids or soon to be married, there are less time to spend with them. but i guess it's okay.


i've been a constant blog addict lately, been reading other people's blog when i have the time. or maybe sumtimes, i just watch my favourite sitcom scrubs starring my favourite actor Zach Braff and i am not shy to admit that i am an avid reader of his blog. you can check it out from my link on the left sidebar. i have all 5 seasons of scrubs and currently downloading 'the last kiss' [for the 3rd time, cause i accidently deleted the first time, and the 2nd time, after days of downloading i realized it was in french, damn!] well, there's nothing like watching a dorky guy with scrubs entertaining you with his intervoice monolog and wacky imagination. [which reminds me of myself alot]. see, that's what i like about scrubs. and zach braff. think im not officially a huge fan of zach. haven't had this much interest on an actor since jonathan brandis (which committed suicide sumtime in 2000 i think, freak!).


maybe i should just watch the french version of the last kiss, although i wouldn't understand a word of what they're saying. hmm, maybe not. I just remembered how much i hate it when they do a voiceover for a tvshow. just like those japanese drama that has a chinese or malay voiceover. i mean, it's really irritating to see their mouth is moving but not nsync with what they're saying. they shud just put a translation below so that it won't be as bad. but some people don't like that translation bit. thank God for astro which has that option if u want either one. but i seldom watch foreign movies or tvshows. just not my type.

anyways, love this pic of zach and Rachel Bilson on the tree house. can't wait for the last kiss to be fully downloaded on my laptop. yippie!

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my thoughts that just flow freely after meeting my supervisor

the month of may has been ok for me. although i had almost 4 hours of sleep last nite finishing up editing chapters 1-4 of my dissertation. this morning, i woke up as the birds were already chirping to perform my subuh prayers. and slept again half an hour later to wake up another half an hour later. so after breakfast i went to school to meet up with my supervisor. and i noticed that he looked very calm and content. maybe because he just got back from umrah or maybe because of the long holiday or maybe because the semester is at its end.
yeah, its almost the end of the semester. i'll be having my dissertation presentation on the 15th which i am kinda have the chills for.
so far, life is pretty simple and steady alhamdulillah. only that i havent had enuff of ikhwan going around in my life because of the both of us being busy chasing our dreams. but i know insyaAllah one day, we'll make up for it :)
one thing that bothers me though is that how much some people really can be an jack ass sumtimes. which made me think about how your old friends really come through for you when you need them. and i thought, about what people say, your school friends are your bestest friends. and i couldnt agree more. yeah i do have some new friends. but they're just not the same as your school friends or the friends you grew up with.
another thing that got me thinking is that how much you really think you know sumone and that sumone just change to sumone u barely even know.
but the whole point of all these ramblings is that this month has made me realise who are the important people in my life really. that came through to me no matter what. i mean, its not how often you keep in touch, its how everytime you need him/her, he/she is always there.

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my dizzle

been missing him alot since he went back. that pic was taken sumwhere in 2006 when he had his old sony ericsson phone with a camera that worked. he doesn't give me much photos though. this is my dizzle.. for shizzle.. fizzle..

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This is how to find a guitar chords..

This mite come in handy for people who are beginners and trying to find a chord. or maybe just wanna tune their guitars..

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my zach braff

zach braff. my favourite actor. he's funny, witty, smart, cute and has a casual crazy kinda personality. would love to meet him in person.. sigh..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St414U_pxhY

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my labour day

TUESDAY. 1st May 2007. The perfect start for the month of May. Every year, the whole world celebrates Labour Day for people work to take the day off. Woke up at 8. Had a very pleasant 8 hour sleep after weeks/months of having sleeping disorder. Its 10am now, the birds are chirping, blue skies and sunshine. nice nice.

However, my 1 half year of masters program is not over just yet. I still hav to write my dissertation and present it exactly 2 weeks from now. Yesterday, we had Multivariate Analysis exam paper which we took 7 hours to complete. Hoping for the best, hope that Prof Aziz would give us a decent grade and hopefully I can graduate by this semester, InsyaAllah.

So what to do now? My dissertation of course. Mom is always telling me to find a job, yes I understand why she pressures me though. People think being the youngest is easy. They always get their way. Nope. That's not always the case. Why I wana get a decent job? That pays well ? So that I can help my mom and dad. So that I can maybe hire a maid so that when I go to work, mama can take care of fahim or farhan (either one of the twins) and the maid can help do the heavy house chores cause I won't be around to help while working. But who's gonna help papa? Maybe at nite, I can help papa. Or maybe when the family company kicks off a good solid start, we can hire a part timer to help out.

I guess I'm starting to blog again. Feels great. Oh yes, I'm turning 26 this Sunday. Woo hoo!! What have I accomplished? Hopefully a scroll of my MSC and a great solid job that pays a decent pay. InsyaAllah, amin amin..

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aim for the stars

seperti biasa after dinner, i would straight away sit in front my laptop, doing my work. yup2. takde la nak singgah2 tgk whats on tv ke or what. but last nite, my friend called me telling me how she really wanted to do her phD in cornell. and that conversation had struck me. how i wanted to pursue my studies [although my CGPA is just cukup2 makan je nak hidup], but considering there is a huge demand for statisticians, i hope and pray that with my CGPA yang cukup2 makan je nak hidup ni, bole la nak hidup.
which triggered me to go find some universities that might offer a scholarship to do phD. so, i searched on the net for the top50 universities ranking. and aimed for the no.1, cambridge. [aim for the stars, cause even if u fall, you'll land on the sky].
my dad went to harvard and obtained a business program certificate and to me, that's a big achievement. and i thought, if my dad can do it, why can't i?
yep, all my life, i've been a mediocre. just average. simple plain jane. but looking at my friends who had the opportunity to do their degree overseas, and some masters overseas, i too would love to have that opportunity.
so thanks to a call from a friend, i am working my asses off to get wat i am aiming for... the stars..

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some disturbed gunman

i watched it on youtube yesterday . check it out

cho's confession video

really freaky. gives u the chills...

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my discovery.. or something i discovered.. or.. like that.. whatever..

something on the internet
call me old fashioned, but i JUST discovered that using mozilla firefox is waaaaaay cooler than internet explorer. less stress. and less hassle. plus, the tulisan is nicer. mcm hi-tech.

something that matters
ministry of education brunei ade opening for technical instructor statistics. how cool is that?

something i care about
rafiq dah balik.. and i kinda miss him

something i should do
write up on my dissertation, its killing me..

something im grateful for
having people in my life that understands me and i can count on: family, ikhwan and friends

something i should start again
to blog.. and really, not at friendster's blog, its sooOOooo boring

something happened
tiba2 dia mcm guruh, so gotta log out

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