you can't have it all... or can you ?

Aller Anfang ish schwer. Everything's hard at first.

I am actively learning German with discipline and consistency. I am more focused now since I have a certain target and goals to achieve. It's like not aiming only at the tiang gol, but exactly at the tayar bersangkut pada tiang gol tu, like Beckham does his football training. And to me, those goals are abit personal. Yeah yeah, i like to share. but not in detail. i don't want just anybody to know what's exactly happening to my life. i update this blog cause i like writing and i know people would be like hey wats up ye dgn djdorrr? jom baca blog dia kejap. then if i bagi sikit, there would be a reason to call / contact me if anyone of my friends would like to know the details ;) smart rite ? smart i am yes.

Ikhwan n I have been online a lot since this whole week. Like I mentioned above, everything is hard at first. that's why we keep ourselves busy so that time would pass by quickly.. so that when i go to work, i would look forward for lunch time.. and when i'm about to sleep, i would study my German before staring at my phone waiting for his call immediately he comes out of office. and i know that he plays rock band a lot so that when i am there again, he will be an expert at his guitar.. and drums! (cabaran ni b hehe). of course the singing job is left for me. hehe.

I have been receiving numerous comments on facebook regarding my wedding and my trip. Thanks people :) Yes, I am lucky n thankful that I got the opportunity to spend a month with my husband in a foreign land, an experience that I will never forget. Wenn einer eine Reise macht, so kann er 'was erza:hlen.

Ikhwan has been great. He has be patient with me by asking me to be patient... the wedding, the trip.. the everything.. for everything has its time.. and the time has always been perfect.. cause God made it that way.. and again he never fails to tell me to be patient.. again.. and everytime that he does, i will be.. because somehow i know that with patience, the wait is gonna be worth it.. just like how i've been patient all this while..

Alhamdulillah I have a great guy as my husband. I have my reasons why I say that. He's my husband, my soulmate, my bestfriend, my time keeper, he makes me happy, he is everything that i could ever wish for and more.. only that he is 11,000 kms away.. and i cant have him next to me anytime i want to..

but in one of our talks, i realized that this is how it was meant to be for us. this is his sacrifice for a better future. yes, it's hard for me. but it's harder for him. and for that, i realized that i need to be strong for him. i need to give him all the support that he needs. and that is what i will do from now on.. :) i am getting stronger everyday and learning to accept the fact that its only temporary.. and that we will be united again soon insha allah :)

There are reasons why we got hitched when we got hitched. don't question; why now? why here n there? why this n why that?.... we know why. that's all that matters. Though I cant have him next to me. But he is always in my heart, in my mind. and i know that i am too in his heart and in his mind. Everything that I do, he is with me. and i can hear his jokes in my mind and laugh alone when i think of it.. (ikhwan is actually very funny)..

I am not complaining. I am accepting the fact and looking forward for the future.. cause for now, that is what we are holding on to.. the future.. perhaps one day, we can have it all..

God willing