There's Gotta Be More To Life

I'm listening to Stacie Orrico's voice singing "there's gotta be more to life..than chasing down every temporary high.. to satisfy me... " on Hitz. (Rudy and JJ dah split btw and it's JJ and Ean now.. )

I think what Stacie is going through is what most people are going through also.. always wanting more in life.. which is good.. it makes you strive harder for your future.. but there is one part of life that makes it balanced is being content with your state.. of course Islam encourages us to work hard to succeed in life and also being wasatiah in leading our lives.

I have a confession. Although I have a good steady job with a fairly ok-pay, alhamdulillah.. but do you ever feel that sometimes, something is missing.. ?

Perhaps I haven't been sincere to myself during work.. Perhaps I haven't been praying hard enough.. (lps smbhyg je doa sket and terus lipat sejadah cepat2).. Perhaps I should be doing something but I didn't and that's why I feel this emptiness.. Bukan empty apa .. just.. empty... Yes, there's gotta be more to life.. Perhaps time is a factor.. I'm always chasing time.. Always thinking about time.. the past, the present, the future.. is there enough time? Will there be time? I need more time.. And ironically though, the time spent thinking about 'time' itself has already been occupied when I could use the time to execute my actions.

I realized this during one of the talks I attended during Ramadhan. Someone said, "Luangkan sedikit masa untuk Allah, dan Allah akan meluangkan masa untuk kita.. " I watched the crowd when this person was saying this to the public.. some listened attentively, some were dozing off.. and I thought wow.. what this person just said was a big hit to me.. it hit me hard.. if i could spend an hour to watch House and another hour to watch Chuck on AXN, and I only spend 5 X 5 = 25 minutes for prayers ? or maybe less.. I feel ashamed of myself..

Kenapa tiba2 mcm Islamic dan sangat alim Dora ? I don't know.. I am not being poyo or what.. I am not that ustazah telling you what to do or what not to do.. I guess I am going through a self-realization moment.. I guess I want to share it here kot.. I might forget later on.. today, tomorrow, next week or next year.. I hope when that happens, Allah will give me a message or a sign so that I remember.. The korban event was a real eye opener to me...