my reflection

When I got out of work this morning, there was a full moon and it was beautiful. MasyaAllah. And right at this very moment, the night is still and quiet, and as the moon is giving light to earth, it had also brought me an inspiration to write this entry..

It was the birth of our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, Maulidul Rasul, (Peace be Upon Him) on the 12th Rabi'al-Awwal. As an Islamic country, we Malaysians celebrated it. For Malaysian, it would mean, another public holiday. Going back to hometown and facing jam. Waking up late and not going to work. Yes. I admit. That would be me. Except for going back to hometown since my home is my hometown :)

I have been asking myself, what is this emptiness inside of me ? Why am I so kalot and I have lost track of my time and time management is just.. out. I remember a talk I attended during the Holy month of Ramadhan. It sounded like this "Make time for Allah, and Allah will make time for you". Whoever who said that would not know how much I value those words.

Yes. Perhaps, I haven't been making enough time for Allah. Shamefully, I only pray for 5 minutes and honestly, it's hard to be khusyu' during prayers. 5 X 5. That's 25 minutes of 24 hours. Maybe, that's why I have been feeling empty lately...

I had a good chat with one of my students. He gave me MP3s of all the Surah in the Quran. And I ask him this,

Ms.D : So you can understand when you read the Quran ?
Stdnt : Yes, of course.
Ms.D : That's the perk of knowing how to speak Arabic. So you can read just like that ?
Stdnt : No. When we read, we don't just read. We also listen to others who read and follow. Because if we read differently, the meaning is also different. So we want to read properly and know the proper meaning.
Ms.D : (amazed) So you can read the Quran fast ? Can you finish in a day ?
Stdnt : Hehe... No.. Even if we sit and read from morning without any interruptions, the whole day can finish about... 3/4.
Ms.D : (masih amazed) Wow..
Stdnt : But during Ramadhan month, I read 3 juzu' in a day. So can finish the whole of Quran during the last 10 days of Ramadhan.
Ms.D : (amazed lagi)
Stdnt : You know Tahjud? During the last 10 days of Ramadhan ? When waiting for Tahjud prayers, we read the Quran.
Ms.D : (amazed tak terkata dan akhirnya berkata) You read the Quran everyday here?
Stdnt : Yes, yes.. everyday.. but not so much.. only 1 or 2 Surah a day. (smiling shyly) Sometimes half a Surah a day..
Ms.D : That's good practice. You know if you read the Quran always, you have sharp memory..
Stdnt : I must be doing something wrong cause my memory is not so sharp(laughing)

And the conversation went on for more than an hour. After he left, I felt so small. Malu dengan diri sendiri. There he was telling me that he reads the Quran everyday and not having a sharp memory.. I thought about myself.. How often do I recite the Quran ? During school days, yes. I was in boarding school and every Friday night (malam Jumaat) we recite the Surah Yassin. And perhaps, before Maghrib prayers, we recite other Surah. But how about now ?

I not only teach my students, but everyday I learn something new from them. For this, I want to share. As humans, we tend to forget. That's our nature. But it's always good to remind ourselves and others. InsyaAllah.

Say (O Muhammad ): "Verily, my Salat (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the 'Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists).
Surah Al-An am. 162.

Can we ever be as genuine as this? Wallahu'alam.

Salam Maulidul Rasul.